Monday, March 06, 2006

Oh I'll tell you why...

It's a book advertised on BlueOregon but only Daniel let's you inside the cover:



So why is mommy a democrat? Let me tell you then you can offer your own reasons.

Because mommy got pregnant at 13 after her school told her sex was fun. Needless to say, mommy never married.

Because mommy hates America.

Because mommy smokes pot.

Because mommy doesn't like personal responsibility.

Because mommy thinks that killing babies is a choice but serial killing rapists deserve a chance to live.

Because mommy still believes that it's 1969.

Because mommy works for government.

Because mommy belongs to a union.

Because mommy is an illegal alien.

Because mommy likes other mommys.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yo Daniel, only a little over five months until Gay Games 2006 in Chicago! Hope you'll change your mind and we see ya there!

Anonymous said...

Lol that's hella funny!

Anonymous said...

Do they have the breast stroke at the Gay Games?

Probably only for the womens teams. Though it must be hard to swim with that much leg hair.

-Andy

The Gentle Cricket said...

I made some of my own pages, too.

Anonymous said...

Yse, they do but they also have some fun events as Dancesport, Physique, Power Lifting and Raquetball! Come join the fun at the Opening Ceremonies at Wrigley Field!

Robert said...

Why Daniel is a Republican

1)Because Daniel had a baby with his sister. Needless to say, the Republican Party encourages incest.

2)Because Daniel masquerades as a wrapped-in-flag patriot, but is too much of wimp to join the military and fight for his country.

3)Because Daniel thinks like someone on pot.

4)Because Daniel believes personal responsibility is scapegoating those of other races and ethnicities.

5)Because Daniel believes actual born humans have no rights but that a lump of cells has the full benifits of the constitution protections. (refer back to #3)

6)Because Daniel believes it is still 1869

7)Because Daniel hates all government, except for Bush's Federal Government.

8)Because Daniel is an excon and can't get a job with the government.

9)Because Daniel only qualifies for employment with Burger King and Walmart. (still not unionized)

10)Because Daniel hates all immigrants.

11)Because Daniel hates gays, maybe suspiciously too much.

Kaelri said...

An appropriate rebuttal.

Anonymous said...

Gawd, don't give Daniel the credit to call him a "Republican."

He's just a short, bald, zionist conservative that looks rather like a dip***t with that lip fuzz...

Genevieve said...

That is lip fuzz? I thought it was dirt and that he couldn't afford soap or a bath to wash it off.

Doug said...

So why is mommy a Republican? Let me tell you then you can offer your own reasons.

Because mommy pledged abstinence, still giving handjobs on the side -then got knocked up not realizing where babies came from.

Because mommy hates American Soldiers by sending them off to fight a phony war.

Because mommy is a closet alcoholic and a cocaine addict.

Because mommy has to depend on her husband to support her.

Because mommy thinks humans have no rights or dignity but a lump of cells has the full benifits of the constitution. (too good to change)

Because mommy is too afraid to do the 69.

Because mommy never had to work.

Because mommy doesn't know what a union is - she's never worked.

Because mommy employs illegal aliens to clean her house.

Because mommy secretly fanticizes about group sex and extramarital affairs. (Reference the high Republican viewership of Desperate Housewives)

Anonymous said...

Haha, I like that "Daniel belives it is still 1869". And others up there.
Thos are good.

Anonymous said...

Haha, I like that "Daniel belives it is still 1869". And other up there.

Anonymous said...

Doug- that was so gay, just like daniel

Kaelri said...

On the other hand, your blog does seem to be attracting a disproportionate audience from amongst the not-so-cognitively-evolved...

Anonymous said...

Whay is mommy a f***ing mutant squirrel?

Which came first, the squirrel part or the dem part?

"Dem" squirrels say the cwayziest things.

BEAR said...

Hey, Daniel, all this attention from the lefties must mean you're hitting some illegally raw nerves. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, way to go - sounding like a f'ing moron is getting ya lot's of attention!

bear, aren't you one of these illegals he keeps talking about?

Kaelri said...

More importantly, can nerves break the law by being raw?

BEAR said...

no, I am a LEGAL immigrant, welcomed by all, and a proud American citizen and vet. Criminals, please go home.

Anonymous said...

bear, prove it.

BEAR said...

My American passport trumps any matricula, or ODL for that matter. Criminals go home, please.

Anonymous said...

good idea bear, go home! Unless you can prove your "passport" is real..

Kaelri said...

I don't frankly see what need Bear has to prove his citizenship to you. He's already given up more of his anonimity than you seem to be willing.

Anonymous said...

I thought the whole idea was to get these illegals that are sucking away our tax money outa here?!

You must be one of those illegal defending lefties..

HMIL said...

Hey, Anonymous ... "Hella" is *so* "over" ... I think the new expressive word of choice is "wicked".

Anonymous said...

Other great events at the "gay Games":

The Valance Beam, where contestents stand on a narrow beam while hanging window treatments.

The 500 Meter Flower Relay, where contestants hand off a flower to a teammate, who has to place it in a FABULOUS arrangement.

The Javelin - looks pretty much like the regular games, only with a catcher.

The Pole Vault: Where you keep your teammate's Javelin

Figure skating - Figure skating

Cheerleading

30 minute Freestyling - timed hairdresing