Friday, March 31, 2006

McCain's casa es mi casa

Hola. My name is Daniel Pedro Lopez Sanchez-Mendez. I live in a small house. I have often looked to the horizon at larger houses and thought of the opportunity they would afford me and my family.

With the encouragement of my government (who wants to demolish my house and put in a shoppping mall for increased tax revenue) I have decided to do what's best for my family and move... to John McCain's house.

Huge bathrooms, 3 car garages, chandeliers and large screen tv's are some of the rights that I get denied in my own house. At McCain's house I am able to excercise my rights.

At first he won't notice I'm there, or if he does he will simply turn a blind eye because we will stay out of his way. His neighbors will love me because I will offer to babysit their kids and undercut the prices of the local high schoolers who are currently doing it. I am able to do this because I'm living in McCain's house, feeding the children with McCain's food, using McCain's electricity and water.

But soon I will get more comfortable. I will move my family from the basement to the living room. One day McCain will come home to find me in the master bedroom, soiling his sheets.

When he protests his neighbors will all defend me, I have been a great conveniance in their lives. They will shame McCain for trying to defend his own house.

As a possible compromise they will suggest that me and my family can stay in his house for an additional 6 years while I continue to eat his food, use his electricity and water and helping myself to his medicine cabinet.

Everyone will be happy.


dchamil said...

For some related thoughts, see my "Esta No Es Su Casa" at

Bobbi said...

But not until I send for all my friends and family members from my old slum neighborhood. They will move into the neighbor's homes and enjoy the same "rights" as I and my family are "entitled" to. Then John and the neighbors will have to "go back to Europe".

David said...

Good point. I'm rethinking my last post...

Vonski said...

And why are we able to do this? Because the house you built is actually on Mexican soil. We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us! Nevermind that I wasn't alive when the borders were established.

I choose to ignore the reality and replace it with my own.

BEAR said...

Daniel, as Lars said, you are, at times, "brilliant!" I agree. I would add, poetic.

Anonymous said...

May I add the consideration of the fence in my backyard? It is a simple statement;
This is my House, you will ask 1st before crossing my fence.
I pay for it. I made it the way it is. It is mine and I have the "HUMAN RIGHTS" to demand it.
Out of common courtesy, you will ask before coming onto my property, as I would for you.
Anything else would be immoral or in the case of MY COUNTRY, as well as most Nations, anything else is ILLEGAL.

Why is anybody making excuses for these RUDE & UNGRATEFUL people that snuck into OUR Nation?

"They are poor"?
4 BILLION across the PLANET are MORE POOR.
Should we just give it all away?
And join them.

Mexico GDP-2004-$1.03 TRILLION!
Japan-SAME population and GDP

Anonymous said...

It seems to me, if I am remembering my California history correctly, that the hispanic population that was living in California during the time us gringos starting settling in, were called "Californios". NOT Mexicans. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I also believe that they were of Spanish descent, not from Mexico. At least, that was what we were taught many years ago in school. Oh yeah, they tend to re-write history now, don't they?

Anonymous said...

They were called mexicans! Its just like what you call people living in oregon, OREGONIANS, but they are still americans. Same thing with the mexicans living in California, they were called californios but were mexican.

peod in Oregon said...

Who gives a shit about what they were called 150 years ago? When we reach a point like that of Israel we will build a wall and toss them over. I would concider ceeding California to them if they would stay there. Nothing good has come out of there since Reagan.

Robin said...

that pretty much sums it up.

BEAR said...

I think we should give them the 9th circuit court of appeals whether they get California or not.

Tim said...

Anon 746 -

You are correct. There were several distinct groups of people of Spanish origin in the new world at the time. The Californios were those living in what would become California. Hispanics were those in the future Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado. I think the folks in Texas were Tejanos. All were distinct administrative units under the government of Spain. They were also distinct cultures who would have been extremely pissed off to be called ‘Mexican’.

The claim that we ‘stole’ part of Mexico is ridiculous on several levels. We didn’t steal anything. The United States paid Mexico $15 million dollars for the land in question – land that had only been part of Mexico for 27 years (Mexico did not become independent from Spain until 1821) and over which the government of Mexico had NEVER had any real administrative or military control. A fair argument could be made that Mexican elites stole the country from Spain (who had exercised claim on the land for some 300 years) via the revolution they financed. Spain took the country by conquest from the Natives in a series of bloodbaths that makes the American genocide of Native Americans look tame.

It never ceases to amaze me how incredibly ignorant of their history Mexicans are or how the fallacies of Mexican history continue to be passed on as truth.