Why can't everyone be a state worker?

Some honest to goodness state job classifications that we might not need to fund:

HAIRDRESSER - #9300
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES
Typical tasks: shampoos, conditions, and cuts the hair as requested; trims beards and moustaches; blow dries and styles hair; checks for and provides treatment for head lice; calls to the proper authority's attention the need for care of scalp and skin conditions; gives permanent wave or hair tint as requested.
(must also have knowlege of "current styles")

SIGN TECHNICIAN 3 - #4132
The SIGN TECHNICIAN 3 facilitates orderly work flow through the sign shop by providing technical expertise to others and by planning, assigning, and reviewing the work of other technicians in specialized areas of sign manufacture.
(Not to be confused with Sign Technician 2 or 1)

CAMERA STRIPPING PLATE MAKER - #2466
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES
Camera Operation. Typical tasks: reviews job order and copy to be sure material is camera ready and to determine page sizes needed; if not clear on directions may contact customer service representative, supervisor or client, for clarification of what is wanted;
(I'm not even sure what this guys job is...)

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, GOVERNOR'S ADVOCACY COMMISSION 0811
The EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, GOVERNOR'S ADVOCACY COMMISSION, serves as the chief operating officer for a commission performing an advocacy role for certain protected groups, specifically, the Oregon Commission on Black Affairs, the Commission on Hispanic Affairs, and the Commission for Women.
(The informal title for this position is "head klansmen")