For my Friday night rant I think I'll start with a list of things that bug me:
1. Illegal aliens.
2. Gay marriage and the whole gay agenda, which is to destroy the nucleur family.
3. Affirmative action. It's racism.
4. The fact that republicans insist on prefacing statements on the above issues with "I'm not prejudiced..." as if we have something to apologize for when anyone with a brain (this disqualifies 99% of liberals) realizes that these are common sense positions.
5. The Oregonian. I'm cancelling my subscription tommorow. At the very least they will end up calling me in two days and offering me 3 free weeks again. (I do this frequently)
6. The fact that rap music is tolerated. Isn't selling crack, slapping bitches, and shooting rival gang members something that should be avoided? Why is this music becoming more mainstream?
7. Craig Morgan. I just want to buy his "redneck yacht club" song but he doesn't offer it as a single download for $.99. You have to buy the whole album.
8. People who steal music. Pay for it like the rest of us. You are criminals.
9. Celebreties. I'm not sure why the general population is facinated with you and your dysfunctional relationships. You are worthless and in my America you would be mocked and ridiculed.
10. Bush meeting with Bono... and "P-diddy." What the hell is that? Is Bono some political intellectual? Does the guy even have a brain? And doesn't P-diddy rap about selling crack? How about you meet with Ann Coulter? How about you meet with someone conservative? Why don't you call in to the Lars Larson show? Why do you insist on courting people who are going to hate you no matter what? AAAAHHHHHH.
11. Christians who vote democrat. Are you stupid? It's our job to bring Jesus to more people. Democrats hate that idea. You can't "respect" someone elese's religion because if you are a Christian you realize that the only way to Heaven is through Jesus. Don't you want everyone to go to Heaven?
12. Lorna Youngs. If I won the Powerball I would sue you endlessly. I would build something that give government more taxes where your house is so I could take it through eminent domain.
13. Eminent domain. You think you can take my house? From my cold dead hands.
14. Black people. Hah, you liberals thought that I was serious huh? But even me joking about this subject is enough for you to label me a "racist" isn't it? Sure, black comedians will make fun of my dancing abilities, call me a square, say that I have a small penis, insist that I'm not "hip" (I'm not) all because I'm white. But heaven forbid that I make a black joke.
15. People accepting political correctness. I don't. If I ever get a chance to become a public figure I'm going to make the most outrageous statements you can imagine. Then, when I'm asked to retract them I'm going to say something more outrageous.
16. The OLCC. Why is liquor so expensive? What about the "have-nots" and the "working poor" and the "underpriveliged?" Don't they deserve a drink?
17. People who drive foreign cars. Don't you like America?
18. People who drive foreign cars and have anti-Bush bumper stickers. You don't even support your fellow Americans. Shut up.
19. Bi-partisanship. That just means we all got screwed.
20. Things that are "european." It really bugs me.
21. Needle exchange programs. I mean really, why do we help criminals use drugs? I don't really care if they get AIDS. It's called "there are consequences for your actions."
22. Kids movies that feature people like "snoop dogg." (not a typo, there are two "g's" in dog) Why does this drug addict get paid to be in children's movies?
23. Public art. I just don't enjoy it at all.
24. Taxpayer funded abortion. How about we give all citizens guns at taxpayer expense? Guns actually are in the constitution, and not the made up part either.
25. People who think that they are tough on the internet. Stop leaving me "you'll get your ass kicked" comments from the comfort and anonymity of your mom's basement. No one thinks you are a man.
26. People who hate Joe McCarthy. He was a great American.
27. People who continue the propaganda against Joe McCarthy. You are probably communists.
28. This list. I have to end it or I will become bitter. That and I'm out of whiskey...