City to warn drivers: Hide the bling
The Portland City Council voted 5-0 Wednesday to buy new receipts that remind motorists to remove anything they don't want stolen from their vehicles. The receipts, which cost $116,000, are part of a new campaign to cut the number of car prowls and thefts from parked vehicles downtown. Also coming: large signs featuring McGruff the Crime Dog urging people to be smart when they leave their cars in the urban core.
This is just another reason not to go to Portland. Among other resolutions the council considered telling people:
If you didn't want to be burglarized you shouldn't have bought a home.
If you didn't want to be approached by smelly homeless people asking for money you shouldn't have come downtown.
If you wanted to be home at a decent hour you shouldn't commute through Portland.
If you don't want your car stolen you should ride a bike.
If you don't want to be killed by terrorists then we shouldn't have pulled out of the JTTF... er, never mind.
If you want people to come to your bussiness then you shouldn't have located it downtown.
If you didn't want an eco-terrorist sitting on a ledge of your building then you shouldn't live in a house that's made of trees.
The resolution they didn't consider:
When traveling downtown you are advised to carry a concealed handgun and be prepared to defend yourself from the rampant criminals.