Friday, April 21, 2006

Jeff Foxworthy-Gonzales-Lopez-Alvarez-Mendez

Ok, I sat down with the intention of coming up with some "you might be an illegal alien if" jokes but nothing came to mind. (saying that they sell drugs, rape teenagers and ruin our public schools isn't a good punchline)

So after searching this thing called "the internet" that a nice man name Al Gore invented, I compiled a small list of other tasteless jokes:

What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook? "Steal a chicken"

Why doesnt mexico have a olympic team? Because every mexican that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!

"According to this new bill that's tied up in the Senate, illegal immigrants who can prove they've been here for two years would be allowed to stay. So follow the logic here. If you can prove you broke the current law for two years, you've protected under the new law." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is down in Mexico right now. Again, I don't think President Bush gets it. As soon as he stepped off Air Force Once, he looked around and said, 'Wow, you got a big problem with Mexican immigrants down here, too.'" --Jay Leno

"As you know, there were lots of huge marches around the country yesterday to protest the immigration laws. The marches had quite an impact on businesses. Restaurants had to close, construction sites had to shut down, the Yankees had to forfeit a game. ... Do you realize that Americans are now doing the jobs that immigrants won't do because they're out protesting?" --Jay Leno

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

It looks as El Presidente Bush is now playing a few of the hold cards he had in his pocket waiting for the time to ripen to where he can gain the most political mileage from the stash. Brace up for a record setting Come Back as GW's numbers are soon to climb.

To think of the harm that has been done to the US for the sake of opportune timing. Look for more headline grabbing ICE busts as the election grows near.

I wish this were a joke, as I am not laughing.

BEAR said...

remember, anon 9:58, that the # of apprehensions is irrelevant, because almost all are released with the promise that, "Oh yeah......I'll be back for my hearing, when pigs fly." That's the dirty secret from rino-ville.

Daniel said...

Your brother calls you to inquire if you know the wherabouts of his lost wallet and I.D. and when you look at your wallet you discover your I.D. is the same as his!!

Priceless!

BEAR said...

well said, sue k..

Anonymous said...

Oh but wait sister sue.

Iraq will get ironed out, Iran and Korea will be chilled, gas will drop to a comfortable $2.59.9 a gallon and we will deport a few thousand easy pick illegal aliens.

Meanwhile, China-Mart will build a few more stores, we will continue happily dealing with a killing a day in the local news and bilingual schools will gain more money from the sheeple.

Scottiebill said...

I just read on NewsMax.com that the illegals here have cost the taxpayers $7.7 billion in the last year. It is time to put a stop to this.

As far as the boycott by the illegals on May 1, will they also boycott the roads, the emergency rooms at the hospitals, cafes, etc.? I think not. And, if this bunch is going to boycott businesses, the merchants should refuse to do business with any who will come into their establishments. But, then they would holler "racism", wouldn't they? And when racism is mentioned stupid is close behind.

Anonymous said...

I'm amused by these arguments against illegal immigrants, it just shows that the right wing really just uses them as scape goats for all of the states woes.

I just read on NewsMax.com that the illegals here have cost the taxpayers $7.7 billion in the last year

If you want to put a stop to that, you should write the Social Security Administration and tell them to reallocate the 7 billion dollars of social security contributions that are attributed to Illegals who don't claim them (due to out of sync social security numbers).

Now, let us not forget how their willingness to work construction for low pay helps keep your property prices low. I don't feel the need to tell you how that works considering you're conservatives and you should be able to grasp the idea of supply and demand.

Also Oregon a crop based state is built on the sweat of illegals. Kick them out and harm the economy, it's that simple. 80% of your crop workers are illegal, are you really willing to take away that life line of Oregon?

Now this made me laugh also

...that they sell drugs, rape teenagers and ruin our public schools isn't a good punchline

Way to just single out the illegals, as if documented citizens don't sell drugs or rape or ruin public schools, I mean considering those who decide the budget for the public school system are documented citizens... they're really to blame, not the illegals.

END OF RANT:

Kick out the illegals; make American life more expensive, ruin Oregon's economy and then be forced to face the same issues again but this time going after the real cause... inept politicians.

I challenge you stop the Sean Hannity parroting and try to use some original rhetoric. That is all, thank you for your time.

davidhamilton said...

If you can't have a party with a chicken and a bottle of vodka, there's something wrong with you. That's my contribution, except it's really a Russian saying.

Scottiebill said...

Daniel, I hope you had yur tongue firmly imbedded in your cheek when you called AlQaeda Gore a "nice man".

Scottiebill said...

Anonymous 209pm: That $7.7 billion COULDgo to other more worthy causes, such as Social Security, if the illegals were kicked out of the country so they aren't costing us more each day in their illegal activities. But, then you liberal appeasers would have to find something else to attack right-thinking Americans about. And that would take some work on your part, something you could get your illegal alien friends to do for you.