Senate Republicans Seek Support for Revised Citizenship Bill
Senate Republicans unveiled revised immigration legislation Wednesday night clearing the way for legal status and eventual citizenship for many of the estimated 11 million men, women and children living in the United States unlawfully.
Majority Leader Bill Frist outlined the proposal after efforts at a bipartisan compromise faltered earlier in the day and the Senate teetered between accomplishment and gridlock on the most sweeping immigration bill in two decades.
A compromise between illegal and legal? Either you are or you aren't.
Republican officials said the GOP plan would divide illegal immigrants into three categories:
Those who had been in the country the longest, more than five years, would not be required to return to their home country before gaining legal status.
Illegal immigrants in the United States less than five years but more than two would be required to go to a border point of entry, briefly leave and then be readmitted to the United States.
Illegal immigrants in the United States less than two years would be required to leave the country and join any other foreign residents seeking legal entry.
In what various Fishwrappers are going to call my entrepenurial spritit I'm going to offer to lie for every illegal alien who wants stay here. For a mere $100 I will attest that you have been mowing my grass for 5 years. That's right.
(Read like it's one of those accident attorney commercials)
So when you go in front of the new HUMONGOUS beuaracracy that is created to somehow verify how long you have been here, you can count of my signature.
Thousands of entrepenures just like me are hoping and praying that they don't in fact use the honor system to verify because really, we are perfectly willing to lie for a few dollars.
I mean sure, some people will do the lying for free. Spouses, employers, friends, neighbors, Ann Martens and such but when it comes time to lie on your verification forms or in front of the verification tribunal or whatever you need a paid professional.
So when they actually figure out how they are going to verify how long someone who they have no record of being here has actually been here, give me a call. I'm as willing to exploit you as the farmers are.