Saturday, April 29, 2006

Saturday morning sarcasm

Somone stole your car this morning. The bastard. Probably some drug addict. Now you want your car back and you want the thief to be punished.

You take a little comfort from the fact that the thief has to look over his shoulder, constantly worried that he will be stopped and arrested for his crime.

Then you turn on your television and see a parade of cars in downtown Portland. The thieves are now demanding that the car titles be changed to reflect their names!

They only wanted better cars. Something nicer than they already had. They deserve these cars they say.

They drive up and down the street honking loudly and proclaiming that "yes, we are currently breaking the law but that just means the law must be changed!"

Bold politicians who are eager for the car thief vote rush to assure them that they will help these people keep the cars. Unbiased journalists insist that the people clamoring for their vehicles back are "selfish" and "uncaring."

Everyone insists that "there are too many thieves and stolen cars to arrest them all."

Thankfully this doesn't lead to more car theft. Because when people see others getting something for nothing they never follow suit. No. They are content to keep their sad little cars even though they could steal a nicer one with no consequence.


PollyAnna said...

you are a genius..i loved this post and will send it on to all on my email list!
thanks for the great twist..

Oregon Infidel said...

That would be SUPER-GENIUS..Just like wiley coyote. Nice post Daniel.

Texas said...


Watch this report from Lou Dobbs, April 28.

Calhoun said...

Yeah, they need the car so they can go to work! And feed their families! So it's OK!


Mike Mayhem said...

The only thing you missed out in this parallel is that a victim of a car theft doesn't benefit from said action. Whereas, American's benefit from the "crimes" of illegals. Nice try though.

Calhoun said...

No, Mike, I'm afraid it's you who've missed ... again.

We don't want to benefit from anyone's crimes.

And when I say "we," I mean honest, law-abiding people. A category of people which I guess does not include you.

Mike Mayhem said...

just because you don't want the benefits doesn't mean they don't exist, I was just pointing out the inconsistency in this analogy.

I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, his name's reality.

MAX Redline said...

Golly gee, thousands of illegal aliens are staying home this week, and may even fear to participate in their special May 1 "celebration". Oh, it just makes my heart bleed for the poor little lawbreakers. I'm sure it all opens the floodgates in your heart as well.

Now, if they're already staying away from the jobsites (sorry, I just can't see calling it "staying home", because their homes are in other countries) - has this really messed up the US economy? I mean, I thought that all of them staying away was supposed to show how much the USA needs illegal aliens. I didn't notice so much as a hiccup.

Updated: 10:16 p.m. ET April 28, 2006
MIAMI - Rumors of immigration roundups have prompted thousands of illegal immigrants to stay home this week and are making some afraid to participate in a national immigration protest planned for Monday.

Though federal immigration officials said they were unfounded, rumors of random sweeps were rampant from coast to coast Friday, prompting thousands of immigrants to stay home from work, take their children out of school and avoid church.

The absences caused the rumors to build, as some thought their missing friends and co-workers had been arrested. Construction and agriculture were among the industries most affected.

Len Mills, executive vice president of the Associated General Contractors of South Florida, said he estimated at least 50 percent of workers on construction jobs in the region hadn't shown up for work. He said he believed even some legal workers were afraid.

"This is costing millions of dollars a day, and I don't know who is going to pay for it," he said.

Well, Len…I expect that you and your ilk will pay for it, as you obviously have no problem when it comes to conspiring with illegal aliens. I've got no problem with forcing you to pay for your crimes.

Calhoun said...

Geez, Mike Mayhem, you are stupid.

Daniel said...

Ok Mike, if my analogy is apt except for the "benefits" that illegal aliens provide, I would be curious to have you list a few of these "benefits."

I would also point out that many actions/choices have benefits but that you weight them against the consquences/negatives as well.

Mike Mayhem said...

Oh Daniel, I thought you'd never ask;

1. Negative: Illegals use our roads.

Positive: We live in Oregon, our tax on gasoline is 24 cents a gallon. That means when the population of Oregon grows exponentially by migrant workers (80% of which are illegal) they benefit our lives and pay taxes on the gas they need.

2. Negative: illegals come in droves to work here for cheap.

Positive: Cheap labor = lower cost of living. See; Supply and Demand.

3. Negative: Illegals are a drain on our society by taking and never putting money back into the system.

Positive: $7 billion dollars of unclaimed Social Security benefits, that the SSA plans on gaining annually.

Negative part II: "that's only 7 billion dollars, what about the cost on our schools!?!?!"

Positive part II: I'll conceed the point that it costs money to have undocumented students, BUT! since you pointed out "that many actions/choices have benefits but that you weight them against the consquences/negatives as well." I'll weigh this cost against the cost of removing said illegal population.

Cost of removal = 205 billion dollars.
Cost of Undocumented students = $56 billion.

That means there'd be $149 billion dollars unneccessarily spent.

Negative part III: "we're not going to deport them, we'll influence them."

Positive part III: Well what happens when they DON'T leave. Lock them up? I know I would choose three free meals and a place to stay in a U.S. prison over hunger and poverty in Mexico.

5. Negative: aside from the above examples they are still a burden on the economy.

Positive: Not true, the growth in population helps local economies. Illegals buy grocies.

6. Negative: They take jobs from the American workforce.

Positive: No they don't. They fill a void in the American workforce that, statistically speaking, a low number of American's choose to take part in. Also for most American's taking said employment would make them underemployed

So in a nutshell, your analogy would have been more accurate if you said "A criminal came up and stole a junky piecer in my back yard but it was alright because I cashed in on my insurance and bought a nicer car, now that criminal's stuck with the car I abandoned."

Bobbi said...

Mike Mayem is a moron.

Anonymous said...

Bobbi and daniel are morons.

Scott said...

Ya know I really thought Mike Mayem was just having fun, till he/it started to mix facts between state and federal numbers.

What a maroon .

Calhoun said...

I'll pick on one of Mike's points : "Cost of removal = 205 billion dollars. Cost of Undocumented students = $56 billion."

But is the $56 billion the annual cost? Because the $205 billion isn't; after we get done deporting them, that expense is ended.

Let's do some math : $56 billion a year x 4 years = $224 billion. So within 4 years, we'll have recouped the cost of deporting them! Sounds like a good deal to me.

(And I'll repeat what I already said. I DON'T WANT to benefit from anyone's crimes.

Mike, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, his name's Honesty.)

Anonymous said...

I agree with you that Mike Mayhem is a moron, but what makes you say that I am a moron? You don't know anything about me - I haven't posted enough comments here for you to form an opinion about me.

There is a serious discussion going on here about the future of our country. If you have an intelligent comment to add, I'll be glad to respond.

Wake up - get a brain...

Mike Mayhem said...

disagreeing with me does not make me a moron... in fact the failure to formulate a comment beyond "your a moron" proves that you can't come up with an intelligent rebuttal which by definition makes you a moron.

With that being said, the educational cost is over 5 years. It's also naive of you to consider that the deportation cost will end there, especially after they start coming back because a secure border is a farce...

lol, calhoun, since it's the religious day of the week I'll share a word of wisdom with you and the rest of these beacons of legal righteousness; ye without sin cast the first stone.

Anonymous said...

"... ye without sin cast the first stone. "

So let's continue breaking the law until the sinnless comes.

Calhoun said...

Well, Mike's point of view is clear :

1. America is so weak and powerless we can't even control our borders. It's impossible!

2. Everyone is dishonest, everyone breaks the law.

(Uh, and that's bullshit.)

Mike Mayhem said...

As calhoun would say; YAWN....

Prove me wrong.

Jen said...

This post was great. Really informative. If you need resources for
estate sales
Then you should check these guys out.