It's time for another round of, say it like Wheel of Fortune, "How many illegal aliens are in our Jails?" clap clap clap clap! That's right folks. I'm Alejandro Trebek and I'm your host for tonights show. Our contestants are encourage by the Bush administration and the state of Oregon to violate our immigration laws and labor laws but they have all decided to go for the bonus points.
I'll buy a vowel Alejandro: U
I'd like to solve the puzzle: Drug dealing, raping, child neglecting, drunk driving, illegal aliens are ruining our state!
YYYEEEESSSSS. We have a winner!
Again, these are just the illegals who INS bothered to put a "hold" on while they are in custody. This is not all the illegal alien criminals in the Marion County Jail.
A drug dealing child neglecter. Tell him what he's won Vanna: a brand new Oregon drivers license!!! Yeeeahhhh. clap clap clap
Selling drugs by a school! What's he going home with Vanna? Free lunches for his kids even during summer!!! clap clap clap
BRAVO, BLAS RAMOS
Wow, this contestant solved so many puzzles I'm not sure I even know what all the acronyms are. Let's see, hit and run, kidnapping, assault, he strangled someone, menacing, harrassment, and much much more!
Sold drugs to a minor and then sexually abused him/her! Custodial interference so it might even be a family member. Oh, and a "failure to appear" which means the genuises who run our court system let this piece of shit out pending his trial. What's he won Vanna? The ability to flee to Mexico rather than face charges! clap clap clap
This guy has a serious drinking and driving problem. I'm not sure if the assualt charges stem from the same incident but tell him what he's won: A poster size Teddy Kennedy "I didn't do it" plaque! clap clap clap
The Fishwrapper is worried about meth but only when white guys sell it. That means that Saulo here has won: A free pass from the media! clap clap clap
He burglized then assaulted a cop. What's he won Vanna? If there is any justice it was 10,000 volts from a tazer! clap clap clap
FIGUEROA-ALVARADO, JUAN CARLOS
Carlos is a "jack of all trades." Assault, DUII, harrassment, theft, it's all been done.
This is a very special contestanst as the INS actually arrested him. Nice to know they are doing something. Stole a car, had some drugs. He wins the "I got the INS off their butts award."
Who knows what this means: CON SX MIN (PROB VIOL)???
I think it has to do with having sex with a minor but I'm not positive. Ready for my "hateful" stereotype of the night? Mexicans like the younger girls, statuatory rape is very common for them.
A sodomizer. How nice. What's he win Vanna? A cell with Bubba! clap clap clap
LEZAMA-FLORES, MARIO IVAN
Violated his restraing order! He wins an opportunity to sit on a portland school board!
This contestant violated his parole. He should win a one-way ticket back to Mexico! clap clap clap
5 counts of aggravated murder. Oh, and he didn't register as a sex offender. He wins free health care courtesy of the state of Oregon!
Steals cars, robs people. Felipe wins a brand new ODL to drive those stolen cars! clap clap clap
REYES, LUIS B
Drugs and ID theft? That's not a problem is it? What's he won Vanna? A brand new TV bought with your credit! clap clap clap
RICO-RAMIREZ, JOSE LUIS
Burlary, felon in possession of a firearm, theft. Jose has won coverage on the Oregon Helath Plan! clap clap clap
DUII, drugs, lied to the cops, what he won Vanna? A matriclua card to make it easier to lie about his true identity! clap clap clap
Hit and run, assault, tresspassing. What does he win Vanna? A new weapon that he can use "unathorized" just like he has been charge for! clap clap clap
How many times did Juan fail to appear? Once, twice, three times? Nope, four times this guy skipped court. He wins a free trip to Mexico to avoid prosecution! clap clap clap
That ends todays Wheel of Illegal aliens show. All contestants flew "coyote" airlines when crossing our border.
Note: I treat this as a laughing matter but seriously, these people rape our kids, sell drugs to our kids, kill our kids while driving drunk, and much much more. What's it going to take to stop this?
Also, I no longer use the blogger spell check as it has eaten several of my posts. My wife will probably correct my spelling tommorow.