Wednesday, June 01, 2005

New Mac Johnson column!

Knife Control
The madness of kitchen knives, the enemy within, does not stop there, however. The report also noted researchers’ belief that: “many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon.”

Now, when an impulsive person can’t even get whacked out of his mind on drugs and alcohol without getting into trouble in the kitchen, clearly something needs to be done. But what? Is there some sensible and practical measure we could take that might remove this threat from society? Why, yes, there is. The physicians group stated, and I quote:

“We suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible and practical measure.”

Of course! Long, pointed knives are exactly the kind that might get stabbed into people. No wonder those Doctors got into medical school.

Gun control taken to the next step. Told with classic Mac humor.

Mac Johnson Homepage


Anonymous said...

Next Step? No, this is 'here'.
Chicago for example:
No person shall carry concealed ... or any other type or kind of knife, any blade of which is more than two and one-half inches in length, ...

Your typical Leatherman would be a violation.

Is transporting a steak knife in a bag considered 'concealed' ? If you go to WalMart, buy a set of steak knives and then carry them home; could you be found in violation of this city code?

How do you get your 10" chef's knife sharpened?

Daniel said...

Wow, that's a crazy city ordinance. But I don't think that it doesn't applies to purchasing a set of knives at Wal-Mart however since you wouldn't be concealing the knives "on your person."

The "utility knife" ordinance just below is even funnier!