SPECIAL REPORT, DUDE!
THE ELECTION OF 2004 EXPLAINED!
...the Presidential election of 2004 is entirely explained by two simple maps. The top image shows county-by-county results of the election. Counties won by Kerry shown in Blue, while those won by Bush are shown in Red. The bottom map shows the results of a recent study by the Department of Health and Human Services, quantifying marijuana use by region, each region composed of one to several counties. Those regions in which more people are stoned are shown in pinky red. The scientific results are undeniable: Democrats are all on drugs.
Commented Howard Dean upon hearing of the study, "Republicans are pretty much an uptight, Sober Party" who are "not very friendly to stoned folks." Adding "These results purposely neglect the growing importance of medical marijuana in our society, which as a Doctor and someone who is --at this very moment-- stoned out of my freakin' mind, I resent."
You must see these two maps side by side! It is amazing how the "blue counties" on the election map coincide almost perfectly with the "high percentage of marijuana use" areas on the Department of Health and Human Services map. Hilarious!