Saturday, April 21, 2007

Quick, hit "spacebar"

I'm going to need your guys' help with something. Can someone leave a comment every few hours reminding me that I'm in "real life" as opposed to "Counter-Strike."

I need these reminders because as has been breathlessly reported in the media about 10,000 times, subhuman murderer Cho played the game Counter-Strike.

I play Counter-Strike. I didn't realize it was a problem until I kept hearing the news reports that explained it all to me. Now I'm very worried that I could be at the local Albertson's and suddenly forget that I went to buy cat food and instead imagine that I'm in a computer game.

But I think that I'm safe because I have been leaving yellow post-its around the house with the message "you are in real life NOT Counter-Strike" and my wife sends me regular text messages of the same.

This is just in time too, the other day when I had to hop over an object in front of me I attempted to hit "spacebar" instead of actually jumping and I tripped...

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

spacebar

BEAR said...

Wow, Mr. Daniel, I thought it was just me.....some little Italian guy keeps running past me, and small helmets are trying to push me into lava. Spacebar-spacebar-spacebar....AAAAGH!

no illegal aliens said...

ARIZONA DESERT--Several anonymous reports say that the online game "Fling the Cow" is causing harm and death to some people in Mexico.

Mexicans citizens have been reported to adapt the idea of "flinging the cow" for their own personal use to gain entry into the United States.

The U.S. Border Patrol reported unidentified flying objects at the United States-Mexico border. The agents have spotted a clan of aliens, but no ship.

The aliens then proceeded north through the blazing Arizona desert.

President Bush granted the incoming aliens amnesty, which allows the aliens to reside in the United State permanently.

HIT SPACEBAR! said...

.

Big Mike Lewis said...

Hey Daniel...

You are in real life NOT Counter-Strike... *spacebar*

Daniel said...

Whew, that was a close one. No wonder the "Ctrl" key wasn't working properly for voice communication.

I did however hit "shift" to sit down in front of my computer... I can see why the media is giving this theory of theirs so much credibility.

BEAR said...

It's a good thing that this mass murderer wasn't responsible for his own actions....I was actually starting to have "bad" thoughts about him. Whew! Thanx, lefty media.

dchamil said...

Daniel, you must have the updated Counter-Strike in which the player encounters yellow post-it notes about the house reassuring him that ...

Anonymous said...

You bought Cat Food?

Holy shit, that stuff is dangerous!

Haven't you followed the news?

NWC said...

You are not alone... Yesterday I was walking through the train station in Portland waiting to pick someone up, and then I heard it; "Bomb has been planted."

Well that's not good, I went into immediate action but I wasn't armed with a bomb defuseal kit. That didn't matter, I needed to find the bomb. I ran as fast as I could to the ticket counter, nothing. "Bomb site A, clear" I said into my microphone. Just then over my team communication I hear "The bomb's ticking at B." I needed to hurry because my team was taking fire. I dashed to the south passenger deck where there were three T's. I picked up a teammates kit and began defusing the bomb.

Just then I got whacked in the back by a little old lady who was pissed that I was looking for the wires on her miniature pincher... It was then that I realized this wasn't really happening, I was so embarrassed.

Oh yeah... spacebar.

no illegal aliens said...

Cho Seung Hui should have pressed CTRL+ALT+DEL on himself sooner before giving 32 other people the CTRL+AL+DEL command without a choice.

eddie said...

You know... it's sad that in all the hyperbole surrounding this sort of thing... the effect of Counter Strike and games like it are lost in the noise.

Only a loon would jump to the theory that an inability to tell the difference between a game and reality caused the actions of Cho. But that is precisely where the media goes every time.

However, there is also no doubt in my mind that playing such games does train the "identify target --- fire" instinct as effectively as any police firing range or training course. All this means is that once he made the conscious decision to cross the line of inhumanity, he was going to be quick at it.

The debate, however, should stand at "can we trust our citizens with quick reflexes!!?!?!?!" not "are we training mass-murderers!!!" because that is the issue.

You can't have a truly free society without any risk from other members, because without the mechanisms of risk, you have nothing left but the life of a domesticated animal. I'd rather be a free-range human, thank you.

Daniel said...

In China the government actually limits the amount of time you can play computer games. see story

NWC, lol.

Eddie, is FF on?

As for Ctrl+Alt+Delete, it would have also worked if he had just been pwned by another student who was allowed to carry.

This thread is generating some funny comments and AAAAHHHHH they're rushing 'short B'!!!

Anonymous said...

By that same Liberal "Video Games Make People Kill" logic, will playing the game "Hello Kitty Island Adventure" turn Charles Manson a nice, law abiding, normal guy???

Anonymous said...

Counter Strike sucks! Battlefield 2 is where it is at. It is the conservative kkkhristians that want to ban everything from rape to porn to video games, not "liberals". Get a clue!!!

Anonymous said...

That was supposed to be "rap" not "rape". My mistake. Conservative Christians like Lew Beres and others still like raping--to them that is just biblical.

Daniel said...

Al Gore's wife is a "conservative Christian"?

As for BF2, isn't that a little "militaristic" for liberals? How about a game for libs called "issue another strongly worded warning" where empty threats from the UN can be met with defiance from maniacal despots.

Hit "spacebar" to "hope" that Iran will "join with the rest of the world in harmony."

何で said...

You mean, you didn't notice the obvious correlation between counter-strike and real world violence?

[/sarcasm]

no illegal aliens said...

What a bunch of shit China's government is pulling off. Limiting the amount of time on a computer and requiring actual name registration.

China's gaming tight-leash system won't fly here in the United States. Hell, our government can't even keep track who is here in the United State legally or not.

Oh yeah... spacebar.

Daniel said...

Unfortunately China's communist response to video games is the logical conclusion of America's liberal nanny-state. Government knows better and will regulate accordingly.

Another reality/Counter-Strike confusion story:

We were on a family outing and I didn't have my headset with me so the only audibles at my disposal were the pre-programmed
"affirmative" "negative" "enemy spotted" "sector clear"...

My wife was very frustrated.

movermike said...

"you are in real life NOT Counter-Strike"

no illegal aliens said...

***DANGER! DANGER, DANIEL! FRUSTRATED WIFE!***

Anonymous said...

Actually, if you're a right-winger, you're not in real life, you're in Bush Land, where tax cuts balance the budget, invading countries produces peace, and unanimity among scientists who have studied global warming is a "controversy".

If only it were as easy as hitting spacebar to bring you out of it and into real life.