Monday, January 19, 2009

Pot calls kettle white

WANTED: The Oregonian Editorial Board
CHARGE: Being too white
REWARD: $5,000 in food stamps
EXTREME CAUTION: This editorial board is less cosmopolitan, less dynamic and at risk of being less competitive than other editorial boards.

Andy Parker: known for very white demeanor. May be armed with a suburban lifestyle.

Anna Griffin: Given a female name by obviously very white parents who probably thought that it would make him a more rounded person.

David Sarasohn: Last seen with an extremely white old guy haircut. May be possible to track by looking for Birkenstock tracks.

Jack Ohman: Armed with a very cheesey white guy smile.

Mike Francis: Excessive pasty white appearance. May be operating under the pseudonym "Mr. Bean."

Steve Duin: Possesion of total white guy mustache with intent to collect food crumbs.

Susan Nielsen: Possession of blond hair, prima facie evidence that the possessor is white.

Please keep in mind that these individual are EXTREMELY sanctimonious. Do not approach these suspects as you are probably not cosmopolitan enough to be seen in public with them. If you are a person of color please be prepared to be patronized.

If you don't listen to Lars here is what I am talking about.

Possible follow up Wanted poster: Betsy Hammond (author of article) - Her Facebook friends list is overwhelmingly white! How very un-cosmopolitan.


Anonymous said...

I hate whitey!


Uptight Oregon Whitey

Anonymous said...

Who better to point out people who are sanctimonious than ... Daniel Miglavs?

Anonymous said...

I hate Daniel Miglavs! Free speech sucks.


Socialist and Communist Oregon

Anonymous said...

Supporting free speech obliges one to support Daniel Miglavs?

Gotta little more free speech for you, pal: Fuck you and fuck off.

Anonymous said...

Anon 732 -- You hit the nail on the head.

Anonymous said...

2:55, bring it. I'll rip your fucking eyeballs out and feed them to my dog!