Wednesday, September 26, 2007

If you don't qualify for "art therapist" you can always try this one

Recreation Leader (Pottery)
Portland Parks and Recreation
Approximate Hourly Salary: $12.73 at entry - $18.37 after three years
(that 23% pay raise each year sounds about average for government work these days)

The Recreation Leader with a Pottery specialty is responsible for assisting, conducting, and administering pottery classes and programs; assisting in the recruitment, selection, and training of part-time pottery instructors; supervising volunteers and seasonal/casual staff.

One of these days I'm going to apply for one of these crackpot positions just so I can report on the interview process. Here's how I imagine it going:

Interviewer: So what makes you qualified for this position?

Me: No blood for oil!

Interviewer: You're hired.

In all fairness to my illegal alien readers who can't make a bong out of clay but can read the Spanish version of "Heather has two mommies" I will post this exciting opportunity for you with Multnomah County:

BILINGUAL SPANISH RAISING A READER LIBRARIAN
Salary: $22.34 - $27.49 hourly

The Multnomah County Library in Portland, Oregon is seeking applicants for a part-time (20 hours per week), grant-funded Bilingual Spanish Raising A Reader Librarian position.

The purpose of this position is to reach more Spanish-speaking families through the Raising A Reader Bookbag Program.

You can call it "grant funded" all you want but they still list the Cadillac benefits package for this position and duties such as "ordering of Spanish-language materials" are probably not included in the grant. I also don't see this person getting fired after the grant money runs out.

16 comments:

MAX Redline said...

Thanks for expanding my job search. I had no idea such exciting challenges were available, and with great benefits, too! I made a clay thingie back in junior high, so I could snag that little plum at Portland Parks, I bet.

Actually, I'd like to work at the library, but that whole bilingual thing puts me off. My sex life isn't any of their business.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Miglavs has been listening to Lars Larson again. Do you have a job, Miglavs? You know, one where your employer doesn't let you kick back and listen to the radio?

Anonymous said...

Great jobs! Thanks for the info! I am amazed at how much a librarian is paid. I have been wondering what to study when I go back to college. Librarian sounds awesome, plus I am a fluent spanish speaker! Thanks again for the info Daniel!

beakker said...

YOU REALLY NEED A HOBBY.....

Anthony DeLucca said...

JOB POSTING
Underwater B.B. Stacker (Bilingual Spanish)
Salary: $22.34 - $27.49 hourly

Multnomah County in Portland Oregon is seeking applicants to instruct people who are in this country contrary to the law, on how to do things they didn't come here to do in the first place. This is an attempt to assist the illegal alien constituancy...er ....population in making life on the run more bearable here in lovely Multnomah County. The position involves screening potential students to make sure that they aren't here legally, and that their Matricular Consular cards are current. Additional duties include recriting additional employees for the program who are Spanish Speakers as well. this is important since we are not able to allocate tax dollars to other groups.....just Spanish Speakers as this fits the overall "diversity" plan of the county.

The purpose of this position is to reach more Spanish-speaking families through the Underwater B.B. Stacking program which we anticipate will continue to bae a large part of the Multnomah County tax dollar frivolous spending program.

Thank you and "Viva Atzlan"

Anthony DeLucca said...

To all of you nitwits out there who think that the United States needs to soften up a bit regarding the US Immigration process, here is what Mexico has as its' immigration policy. It's a lengthy post, but well worth the read:

How the Mexican constitution treats foreign residents, workers and naturalized citizens


In brief, the Mexican Constitution states that:

- Immigrants and foreign visitors are banned from public political discourse.

- Immigrants and foreigners are denied certain basic property rights.

- Immigrants are denied equal employment rights.

- Immigrants and naturalized citizens will never be treated as real Mexican citizens.

- Immigrants and naturalized citizens are not to be trusted in public service.

- Immigrants and naturalized citizens may never become members of the clergy.

- Private citizens may make citizens arrests of lawbreakers (i.e., illegal immigrants) and hand them to the authorities.

- Immigrants may be expelled from Mexico for any reason and without due process.


The Mexican constitution: Unfriendly to immigrants

The Mexican constitution expressly forbids non-citizens to participate in the country's political life. Non-citizens are forbidden to participate in demonstrations or express opinions in public about domestic politics. Article 9 states, "only citizens of the Republic may do so to take part in the political affairs of the country."

Article 33 is
un-ambiguous: "Foreigners may not in any way participate in the political affairs of the country."

The Mexican constitution denies fundamental property rights to foreigners. If foreigners wish to have certain property rights, they must renounce the protection of their own governments or risk confiscation. Foreigners are forbidden to own land in Mexico within 100 kilometers of land borders or within 50 kilometers of the coast.

Article 27 states,
"Only Mexicans by birth or naturalization and Mexican companies have the right to acquire ownership of lands, waters, and their appurtenances, or to obtain concessions for the exploitation of mines or of waters. The State may grant the same right to foreigners, provided they agree before the Ministry of Foreign Relations to consider themselves as nationals in respect to such property, and bind themselves not to invoke the protection of their governments in matters relating thereunto; under penalty, in case of noncompliance with this agreement, of forfeiture of the property acquired to the Nation. Under no circumstances may foreigners acquire direct ownership of lands or waters within a zone of one hundred kilometers along the frontiers and of fifty kilometers along the shores of the country."

The Mexican constitution denies equal employment rights to immigrants, even legal ones, in the public sector.

Article 32: "Mexicans shall have priority over foreigners under equality of circumstances for all classes of concessions and for all employment, positions, or commissions of the Government in which the status of citizenship is not indispensable. In time of peace no foreigner can serve in the Army nor in the police or public security forces."

The Mexican constitution guarantees that immigrants will never be treated as real Mexican citizens, even if they are legally naturalized.

Article 32 bans foreigners, immigrants, and even naturalized citizens of Mexico from serving as military officers, Mexican-flagged ship and airline crew, and chiefs of seaports and airports:

"In order to belong to the National Navy or the Air Force, and to discharge any office or commission, it is required to be a Mexican by birth. This same status is indispensable for captains, pilots, masters, engineers, mechanics, and in general, for all personnel of the crew of any vessel or airship protected by the Mexican merchant flag or insignia. It is also necessary to be Mexican by birth to discharge the position of captain of the port and all services of practique and airport commandant, as well as all functions of customs agent in the Republic."

An immigrant who becomes a naturalized Mexican citizen can be stripped of his Mexican citizenship if he lives again in the country of his origin for more than five years, under Article 37. Mexican-born citizens risk no such loss.

Foreign-born, naturalized Mexican citizens may not become federal lawmakers (Article 55), cabinet secretaries (Article 91) or supreme court justices (Article 95).

The president of Mexico, like the president of the United States, constitutionally must be a citizen by birth, but Article 82 of the Mexican constitution mandates that the president's parents also be
Mexican-born citizens, thus according secondary status to Mexican-born citizens born of immigrants.


The Mexican constitution forbids immigrants and naturalized citizens to become members of the clergy.

Article 130 says, "To practice the ministry of any denomination in the United Mexican States it is necessary to be a Mexican by birth."

The Mexican constitution singles out "undesirable aliens."

Article 11 guarantees federal protection against "undesirable aliens resident in the country."

The Mexican constitution provides the right of private individuals to make citizen's arrests.

Article 16 states, "in cases of flagrante delicto, any person may arrest the offender and his accomplices, turning them over without delay to the nearest authorities." Therefore, the Mexican constitution appears to grant Mexican citizens the right to arrest illegal aliens and hand them over to police for prosecution.

The Mexican constitution states that foreigners may be expelled for any reason and without due process.

According to Article 33, "the Federal Executive shall have the exclusive power to compel any foreigner whose remaining he may deem inexpedient to abandon the national territory immediately and without the necessity of previous legal action."

Notional policy options

Mexico and the United States have much to learn from one another's laws and practices on immigration and naturalization. A study of the immigration and citizenship portions of the Mexican constitution leads to a search for new policy options to find a fair and equitable solution to the immigration problem in the United States.

Two contrary options would require reciprocity, while doing the utmost to harmonize U.S.-Mexican relations:

1. Mexico should amend its constitution to guarantee immigrants to Mexico the same rights it demands the United States give to immigrants from Mexico; or

2. The United States should impose the same restrictions on Mexican immigrants that Mexico imposes on American immigrants.

These options are only notional, of course. They are intended only to help push the immigration debate in a more sensible direction. They simply illustrate the hypocrisy of the Mexican government's current immigration demands on the United States - as well as the emptiness of most Democrat and Republican proposals for immigration reform.

Mexico certainly has every right to control who enters its borders, and to expel foreigners who break its laws. The Mexican constitution is designed to give the strongest protections possible to the country's national security. Mexico's internal immigration policy is Mexico's business.

However, since Mexican political leaders from the ruling party and the opposition have been demanding that the United States ignore, alter or abolish its own immigration laws, they have opened their own internal affairs to American scrutiny. The time has come to examine Mexico's own glass house

beakeer said...

YOU REALLY NEED A HOBBY............

dchamil said...

Recreation Leader in Pottery is a crackpot specialty? I couldn't make this stuff up, as Dave Barry would say.

Anonymous said...

Hey Miglavs, a question for you: If "illegal aliens" were 1) Caucasian and 2) Spoke flawless Enlglish, what would you bitch about instead?

The Norm said...

From John Zarrella and Patrick Oppmann
CNN


MIAMI, Florida (CNN) -- For 11 years, Pedro Zapeta, an illegal immigrant from Guatemala, lived his version of the American dream in Stuart, Florida: washing dishes and living frugally to bring money back to his home country.


But the money was confiscated by U.S. customs officials after Zapeta neglected to fill out the proper form.
2 of 2 Two years ago, Zapeta was ready to return to Guatemala, so he carried a duffel bag filled with $59,000 -- all the cash he had scrimped and saved over the years -- to the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.

But when Zapeta tried to go through airport security, an officer spotted the money in the bag and called U.S. customs officials.

"They asked me how much money I had," Zapeta recalled, speaking to CNN in Spanish.

He told the customs officials $59,000. At that point, U.S. customs seized his money, setting off a two-year struggle for Zapeta to get it back. Zapeta describes how he lost his money »

Zapeta, who speaks no English, said he didn't know he was running afoul of U.S. law by failing to declare he was carrying more than $10,000 with him. Anyone entering or leaving the country with more than $10,000 has to fill out a one-page form declaring the money to U.S. customs.

Officials initially accused Zapeta of being a courier for the drug trade, but they dropped the allegation once he produced pay stubs from restaurants where he had worked. Zapeta earned $5.50 an hour at most of the places where he washed dishes. When he learned to do more, he got a 25-cent raise.

After customs officials seized the money, they turned Zapeta over to the Immigration and Naturalization Service. The INS released him but began deportation proceedings. For two years, Zapeta has had two attorneys working pro bono: one on his immigration case, the other trying to get his money back.

"They are treating me like a criminal when all I am is a working man," he said.

see full schedule »
Zapeta's story became public last year on CNN and in The Palm Beach Post newspaper, prompting well-wishers to give him nearly $10,000 -- money that now sits in a trust.

Robert Gershman, one of Zapeta's attorneys, said federal prosecutors later offered his client a deal: He could take $10,000 of the original cash seized, plus $9,000 in donations as long as he didn't talk publicly and left the country immediately.

Zapeta said, "No." He wanted all his money. He'd earned it, he said.

Now, according to Gershman, the Internal Revenue Service wants access to the donated cash to cover taxes on the donations and on the money Zapeta made as a dishwasher. Zapeta admits he never paid taxes.

CNN contacted the U.S. Attorneys office in Miami, U.S. Customs and the IRS about Zapeta's case. They all declined to comment.

Marisol Zequeira, an immigration lawyer, said illegal immigrants such as Zapeta have few options when dealing with the U.S. government.

"When you are poor, uneducated and illegal, your avenues are cut," he said.

On Wednesday, Zapeta went to immigration court and got more bad news. The judge gave the dishwasher until the end of January to leave the country on his own. He's unlikely to see a penny of his money.

"I am desperate," Zapeta said. "I no longer feel good about this country."

Zapeta said his goal in coming to the United States was to make enough money to buy land in his mountain village and build a home for his mother and sisters. He sent no money back to Guatemala over the years, he said, and planned to bring it all home at once.


At Wednesday's hearing, Zapeta was given official status in the United States -- voluntary departure -- and a signed order from a judge. For the first time, he can work legally in the U.S.

By the end of January, Zapeta may be able to earn enough money to pay for a one-way ticket home so the U.S. government, which seized his $59,000, doesn't have to do so.

Anthony DeLucca said...

Anon 8:53

Making the accusation that those who are against illegal immigration are "racist" doesn't fly anymore.

I believe that it is YOU who is racist since you made the false assumption that illegal immigrants are :

A- Other than white

B- Don't speak english

Well, for the most part, you would be correct. However had you bothered to visit this blog on a regular basis, you would know that there are problems with Ukrainan Immigrants, Serbs, Chinese, etc..

For you to assume that all illegal immigrants are of color and speak poor english, paints you as a bigoted a-hole who stereotypes.

Racist.

Anthony DeLucca said...

Wait a minute.....Zapeta worked in the US Illegally for ELEVEN years.....and still has not learned to speak english????

He had ample opportunity to learn the language and follow up on what the law was regarding the money.

As the old saying goes "Ignorance of the law is no excuse"

I'm supposed to feel sorry for this guy? he worked for 5 bucks an hour for eleven years.....boo frickety hoo. That's his problem. Had he bothered to learn the language, enter the country legally, and better himself with a little education, he wouldn't be in the mess that he's in.

Screw him, he got himself into the mess he's in. It's not the fault of the big bad mean old government....it's his fault.

Follow the law, and you will have no worries.

The Norm said...

Thanks anthony.....I didn't mean to post that article to make people feel sorry for him, but as a prime example for whats going on in this country.

Anthony DeLucca said...

Simple solution to the border security problem:

Burning River of Gas.

Easy and effective. Canadian border too. We don't need Alan Thicke popping down here whenever he wants.

Anonymous said...

delucca-

That was the shittiest line of syllogism I've ever seen. Thanks for the entertainment.

Anthony DeLucca said...

Anon 5:04

If you're going to attempt to use your "Word Of The Day" calendar, use it correctly.

Here is the defenition for "Syllogism"

a deductive scheme of a formal argument consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion (as in "every virtue is laudable; kindness is a virtue; therefore kindness is laudable")

Dipshit.