You know what I realized? I have a few opinions. They are as follows:
Illegal aliens: Kick them out. Give them nothing so they kick themselves out.
The Kicker: It's ours. Hands off.
Gay marriage: It's all about equality... gays can marry someone of the opposite sex just like the rest of us.
Public art: I don't buy that garbage for my house, I don't want you using my money to buy it for yours.
The internet: What did we do before it? Thank you Al Gore.
The War on Terror: Bury terrorists with pig guts. Post pictures of that. We should be waging a huge propaganda war instead of having one waged against us by the media.
Les Schwab: Greatest tire company ever. Wouldn't buy anywhere else. Don't care if they have a woman manager or not.
Women having "equality": Hah, I'll concede that women should have set-asides at Les Schwab (or anywhere) when Cosmo sets aside a certain number of pages to talk about fishing/power tools/large trucks.
Property rights: That's your house, you want to paint it polka dot and put a large neon sign on top? That's your bussiness. What I want to do with my house is my bussiness.
Abortion: It's murder.
Democrats: They're not bad people, just not very bright.
Washington DC politicians: They live on Planet X. They don't care about us even a little.
Marijuana: If you think it's medicine then you are a moron. You don't smoke medicine.
Tom Clancy: Great author.
Karl Rove: A moron.
Global Warming: When I write a blog post I put a link, when I write a paper I footnote. This is because I will be called a liar if I don't. (with the proof available I just get called a facist/bigot/etc) Don't tell me about global warming unless you are prepared to back it up with facts. "Everyone knows" isn't good enough.
Feminists: Who let them out of the kitchen?
Crime and punishment: We will have less of the former when the latter is more severe and unpleasant.
My most recent fishing trip: How did my vegetarian brother manage to catch a fish and I didn't?
Celebreties: I don't care who you married, whose baby you have, what you are wearing. Shut up.
Animal rights: They have the right to be eaten.
David Wu: Is "attempted rapist" something that Oregon voters look for in a representative?
Mac Johnson: Write a book man. I'll buy it.
The guy who just called me telling me that we won a $500 shopping spree if I will only let them come into my house and have me fill out a survey: May a thousand lice lay eggs on your pillow.
Email spam: May a thousand lice lay eggs in your nose and ears.
Reality TV: If I want reality I'll go outside.
This blog post: It's getting long...