It's been a while since I've gone on a uncensored and discombobulated rant so here it goes:
I enjoy that so many of you hate me. I really do. The thought of hundreds of people waking up every morning to read what I write, scream epithets at their computer and then insult me brings a big smile to my face.
One of my favorite things I read is how you all describe "Miglavia" and I realize that this sounds like a wonderful place to live. Allow me to describe it.
1. English is the only language spoken. We don't even allow people in until they are fluent.
2. The "disadvantaged" are told to work twice as hard because "that's life."
3. Minorities are treated... exactly the same as everyone else. Imagine that injustice.
4. No lesbians are allowed to work for DHS or participate in court hearings regarding child custody hearings.
5. Lesbians aren't allowed to vote. (see number 5)
6. Women aren't allowed to vote, however they are allowed to let their husbands vote for them. Obviously lesbians don't have husbands.
7. The second amendment gets treated like we treat the first amendment in America. This results in small machine guns being mounted on top of most commuter vehicles. Road rage does not exist in Miglavia.
8. Abortion is legal and happens often. The term "death penatly" is replaced by the word "abortion."
9. There is a literacy test for voting. The test is: "do you read Daniel's blog?"
10. Wal-Mart becomes the number 1 provider of public education in the Miglavian free market system.
11. Spotted owls will be on the extra value dollar menu.
12. Public art consists of "art done by the public" rather than "art done by people who can't find anyone to buy their crap so the taxpayers have to pay for it."
13. The government of Miglavia will build the infrastructure around the needs and wants of the populace, not what we think will be good for you. Obviously this means everyone will drive a single occupancy vehicle.
14. All cultures will not be equal. Miglavian culture will be treated like the suprior system that it is. We will chuckle while the folks riding mass transit for three hours get to work look down on us.
15. A vegeterian alternative will not be offered.
16. People who cry "racist" every time a Miglavian law is enforced will be jailed.
Please help me with my semi-serious caricature. I want to know what other wonderful attributes Miglavia has to offer and thank you for hating me so much, it means a lot to me and my wife.