Monday, July 21, 2008

Monday night rant

It's been a while since I've gone on a uncensored and discombobulated rant so here it goes:

I enjoy that so many of you hate me. I really do. The thought of hundreds of people waking up every morning to read what I write, scream epithets at their computer and then insult me brings a big smile to my face.

One of my favorite things I read is how you all describe "Miglavia" and I realize that this sounds like a wonderful place to live. Allow me to describe it.

In Miglavia:

1. English is the only language spoken. We don't even allow people in until they are fluent.

2. The "disadvantaged" are told to work twice as hard because "that's life."

3. Minorities are treated... exactly the same as everyone else. Imagine that injustice.

4. No lesbians are allowed to work for DHS or participate in court hearings regarding child custody hearings.

5. Lesbians aren't allowed to vote. (see number 5)

6. Women aren't allowed to vote, however they are allowed to let their husbands vote for them. Obviously lesbians don't have husbands.

7. The second amendment gets treated like we treat the first amendment in America. This results in small machine guns being mounted on top of most commuter vehicles. Road rage does not exist in Miglavia.

8. Abortion is legal and happens often. The term "death penatly" is replaced by the word "abortion."

9. There is a literacy test for voting. The test is: "do you read Daniel's blog?"

10. Wal-Mart becomes the number 1 provider of public education in the Miglavian free market system.

11. Spotted owls will be on the extra value dollar menu.

12. Public art consists of "art done by the public" rather than "art done by people who can't find anyone to buy their crap so the taxpayers have to pay for it."

13. The government of Miglavia will build the infrastructure around the needs and wants of the populace, not what we think will be good for you. Obviously this means everyone will drive a single occupancy vehicle.

14. All cultures will not be equal. Miglavian culture will be treated like the suprior system that it is. We will chuckle while the folks riding mass transit for three hours get to work look down on us.

15. A vegeterian alternative will not be offered.

16. People who cry "racist" every time a Miglavian law is enforced will be jailed.

Please help me with my semi-serious caricature. I want to know what other wonderful attributes Miglavia has to offer and thank you for hating me so much, it means a lot to me and my wife.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cry me a fucking river Miglavs. Would you like some cheese with that whine?

You reap what you sow Daniel.

And you're welcome.

Anonymous said...

Oh...and one other thing, Miglavs? How about a little reality check for the great big head of yours: It's not "hundreds" of people logging on to see what you have to say each day,Daniel -- it's the same dozen or so of us logging on multiple times per day to see what OTHER people have to say about your dumbass "musings." Or, more accurately, "messings," as my 5 year old daughter pronounces it. Trust me on this...

Calhoun said...

As for #12, public art, Tri-Met just spent half a million dollars for public art for the new WES commuter train. Check out what half a million gets you :

"Boyden and Rude have created a series of five sculptures, called Interactivators, for the five commuter rail stations. Each sculpture features moveable, cast-bronze heads and a vehicle mounted to a stainless-steel table. The heads, which appear in different guises at each of the stations, symbolize a wide range of emotions, traits and conditions. Like the cross section of humanity that may be found on any train car, these sculpted archetypes serve as a metaphor for the human experience. The bronze vehicles each carry a sculpted scene of an animal representative of the station area where they are located."

Anonymous said...

... brings a big smile to my face.

Pretty pathetic, Miglavs. Creepy, too.

I am Coyote said...

I think that 16 should be changed, altered or a subset added.

16.1, MEN who CRY will be jailed. Unless it is over "Old Yeller," or the death of a loved one.

Brett Favre? Sorry buddy you would have to serve time.
---------
Oh anon 6:47? I'm sure it is hundreds. You are just jealous.

Or is it blogenvy?

Anonymous said...

LMFAO! Nice work. I'll take 3 Owl breasts, 4 tree hugger ears, and 3 illegal mexicans to eat the food I drop on the floor. A cigar and a snifter of Brandy afterwards, and make SURE I'm in a non smoking restaurant, I get a helluva laugh out of the whiney ass non smokers, LOL!

Anonymous said...

Very nice! This will be noted. Oh, I so can't wait until you are in a professional job or better yet, run for office. People's careers have been destroyed for less. There is always something about true words said in jest. These are just words typed with your own fingers, on your own blog. Very candid Miglavs. I am sure this coupled with your criminal record will do nicely.

Anonymous said...

Daniel, don't worry about any of these idiots. If you really don't like them going off on their crazy rants, block their IPs or make them register to post. And then when they get out of hand, ban them and/or their IPs.

I don't see it as a free-speech issue. It's more about board trolling, and you have picked up your fair share over the last year or so. Time to ditch these idiots if you have the ability to do so.

Anonymous said...

Having walked "point" myself on an issue of community safety and got dumped on for it.

BOY DO I FEEL YOUR RAGE!!!

Love your guts and skills to bring it out front!

dchamil said...

In Miglavia they follow the Japanese practice of concealing the date of execution from condemned men. They spend the (short) remainder of their lives in suspense. One day the executioner shows up unannounced, and the deed is done. Good idea, eh?

Anonymous said...

10:29, that's a good point, I've thought of that before. For someone who seems to really enjoy politics, Daniel has basically made it impossible for himself to get elected to public office, should he ever mature to the point where he'd even want to try. He wouldn't even be able to make it out of a GOP primary contest. That's one good thing that's come out of this blog ... other than the smile we bring to his face.

Anonymous said...

Tuesday morning reality:

Anon 6:47 -- I have often wondered about that. Daniel crows about how many hits his blog supposedly gets, but I have a suspicion the number of hits only reflects how often the blog regulars check in each day. I have come to the conclusion that, indeed, it is the same dozen or so people logging on multiple times per day. Bet you dollars to donuts Miglavs already knows this simply by checking out the IP addresses, but, as with the 1 to 4 baby-sitting ratio law, conveniently decides to withhold that information.

Miglavs: since you responded to a legitimate challenge the other day by pointing out a spelling error on my comment and then running, it's worth noting that per usual, your post is rife with them. Your spelling errors on your template are still there too, Genius.

MAX Redline said...

15. A vegeterian alternative will not be offered.

This is just wrong.

I saw a sign at Bubba's in Greely, CO. It read:

Of course we serve vegetarians.
What do you think cows are?

Anonymous said...

... by pointing out a spelling error on my comment and then running.

This is what's known as the Miglavian Method: Post 'n run. At the end of the day, his silence betrays his cowardice. Surely he can't respond to everyone and every post, but when someone takes the time to raise a legitimate point or ask a serious, legitimate question, Miglavs is nowhere to be found. At some level, I think he knows that the word for that is: P-u-s-s-y.

Anonymous said...

6. Women aren't allowed to vote, however they are allowed to let their husbands vote for them.

Excuse me?

And just how do you treat your wife? Is she allowed to speak, or do you have her in a burqa yet, Daniel? What other rules do you have for us, oh wise one?

Anonymous said...

What we have with respect to Miglavs is a case of arrested development, and thus, very childish behavior. After all, while the rest of us were progressing through high school and onto college, Miglavs was selling drugs and playing gangbanger. Thus, he's still incredibly immature, evidenced by the utlimate purpose of this blog: to get attention. It's incredibly childish when you think about.

Even Daniel is smart enough to see that there can be no logical basis for concluding that someone must be an illegal immigrant because they have difficulties with the English language. Nevertheless, he asserts this all of the time because he knows it will draw ire from a lot of people. It's an attention getting tactic. My daugher does it all the time. She's 2.

I used to participate in "discussions" here quite frequently a few years back. But when I realized Daniel's true motive - to incite hostilities and get attention (look at me!) rather than to engage in a sober, fact-based political discussion - I stopped. After all, if I was interested in having a circle-jerk, I'd go hang out with R-Huse. Now I just check in from time to time to see his "arguments" easily shredded.

Having constant traffic on his blog is so important to Miglavs that he continues to allow anonymous posters,which means any "discussion" will easily get derailed by people more interested in hurling insults around than with really arguing. He knows if he limited the discussion to people with blogger accounts, traffic would dry up immediately. Moreover, I suspect that from time to time, he posts anonymously as well.

To all of you on the left (with whom I agree), please realize that you are just feeding Daniel's immature need for the attention he so craves. You give him something to look forward to in life. He needs you. Instead of leading the life of a poorly educated ex-con with minimal career prospects, you allow him to lead the life of a poorly educated ex-con with minimal career prospects, but with a blog where people seem to care what he writes.

You should be commended for providing this great service to Daniel. It's more than I can do. I have my own children.

Anonymous said...

anon 1247 than why are you here !!!!!
I personally think that #12 on the list is great. let all artists sell there stuff (if they can ). that way they can earn there own liveing instead of getting it from the goverment teet!

Anonymous said...

No one in their right mind would want to run for public office. NO ONE.

Anthony DeLucca said...

Anon 647,

What a douchebag. You admit to logging on multiple times per day?? Do you have a job? A life? Or even a freaking hobby?

Talk about self absorbed. Not only do you log on to bash another person's opinion (as if yours was somehow superior to the opposition)but you log BACK on multiple times just to see how many people agree with you.

Loser.

Anonymous said...

As a liberal with friends on ALL sides of the political aisle (and some under it, some balancing carefully down the middle of it, etc.) I can say that having a serious discussion with an articulate, informed and mature conservative is very interesting and enjoyable.

Unfortunately, that is not the sort of discussion one ever finds at Daniel's Political Musings. The "look-at-me" factor here is high. Actually, it appears to be the only thing that really matters. When you think it all through, it's genuinely odd that someone would start a blog, begin discussion topics, allow comments from all ... and then not respond. Until, of course, you consider his remarkably candid (and thoroughly embarrassing) admission ...

I enjoy that so many of you hate me. I really do. The thought of hundreds of people waking up every morning to read what I write, scream epithets at their computer and then insult me brings a big smile to my face.

This blather speaks to a state of mind that is best left to a psychiatrist to comprehend rather than liberals who feel compelled to drop in and poke him with a stick.

Rant on, Miglavs. Whatever turns you on. But ... "hate" you? Give me a break. You give yourself far too much credit. I don't even know you, and I strongly suspect you're not worth it.

Daniel said...

In Miglavia Brett Favre would be punished by having to be a cheerleader.

In Miglavia private property owners could build a nuclear plant in their backyard and sell the energy. The greenies could build a windmill and either buy the electricity from their neighbor or take cold showers.

In Miglvia, much like "the real world", my statcounter would show individual users and those of you who hate me so much that you log on multiple times a day.

Oh, and I'm running for secretary of state as a write in candidate. Whatever you do don't use this post against me in a high profile opposition campaign... that would ruin my chances of winning.

Anonymous said...

Miglavs, do you really think your shtick even approaches something resembling humor?

Anonymous said...

Miglavs has many illusions. That's one of them.

Anonymous said...

DeLucca: What a liar. You have the nerve to say you don't log on several times a day? Perhaps not recently, since you got your ass kicked on a regular basis for making shit up, but not so long agoyou were logging on mega-multiple times a day Deluded -- the archives don't lie, idiot.

Anonymous said...

LMAO -- It's always so funny how, when Delucca insults others, he so often sounds like he's talking about himself.

Anthony DeLucca said...

Anon 1203 said: DeLucca: What a liar. You have the nerve to say you don't log on several times a day?

I never said that. I log on twice daily..morning and evening. Sometimes more.

Another example of an idiot not being able to understand what they have just read.

Reach Dental said...

I have this strange feeling that Daniel is not gonna be running for office any time soon. And that's because I know that he has more important things to do.

Also, most of the people on here don't seem to believe in satire, at least judging from most of the posts.

And for that, I ask that they who do not understand satire need to be executed.

Anonymous said...

Anthony DeLucca said...
Anon 1203 said: DeLucca: What a liar. You have the nerve to say you don't log on several times a day?

I never said that. I log on twice daily..morning and evening. Sometimes more.

Another example of an idiot not being able to understand what they have just read.

10:10 AM


DELUDED DELUCCA: THE ARCHIVES PROVE OTHERWISE. SOMETIMES "WAY" MORE...


Anthony DeLucca said...
Anon 647,

What a douchebag. You admit to logging on multiple times per day?? Do you have a job? A life? Or even a freaking hobby?

Talk about self absorbed. Not only do you log on to bash another person's opinion (as if yours was somehow superior to the opposition)but you log BACK on multiple times just to see how many people agree with you.

HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING YOUR MEDS LATELY, DELUDED DELUCCA? HALLUCINATE MUCH?

Anonymous said...

Oh, we understand satire. Believe me we understand. In fact, most of us have probably studied what satire is (and isn't) in college. We've studied it enough to discriminate between well executed satire and poorly executed satire. Guess which category Daniel's attempt falls under.

Anonymous said...

coyote

Come on Brian's Song. Men should be allowed to cry over that too.

Anthony DeLucca said...

Again,

I never said that I did not log on twice daily. I merely am pointing out that you knuckleheads who do it for no other reason than to bash the author, are pinheads.

I've long said that the loudest voices for tolerance, are the least tolerant people that I've ever met. Anyone with a viewpoint in opposition of your own, is called a "racist", or a "xenophobe", or even some made-up word like "Miglavian".

I've figured out that it is simply not possible to reason with someone who lacks the ability to reason. Rational thought is as foreign to you as Swahili.

Anonymous said...

What are you doing Deluded Delucca? Logging back on multiple times just to see how many people commented on your comment? ROTFLMAO... Again, it seems like you are talking about your self when you criticize others and we need not go any further than your own previous comment for an example....

Anthony DeLucca said...
Anon 647,

Talk about self absorbed. Not only do you log on to bash another person's opinion (as if yours was somehow superior to the opposition)but you log BACK on multiple times just to see how many people agree with you.

Self absorbed? Indeed.

Anonymous said...

Okay, let me get this straight Delucca. Blogger blog so that people who agree with them will log on and agree with them? Anyone else is not welcome? And you're droning on about intolerance? That'
s rich.

Anonymous said...

In Anti-Miglavia,

1. People won't compensate for their sexual dysfunction with guns and SUVs.

2. Convicted criminals won't prattle on-and-on about "the rule of law."

3. People won't be disparaged simply because they're different in some way.