Water is not our friend. In fact it may be the most destructive force on planet earth. We can thank God that the islamofacists live in the desert with little access to this harmful substance. Really.
You see, I am still recovering from the Great Bathroom Incident of '07. (NOTE: it is still '07) This incident was the result of my darling little children looking at water in their bathroom and having to make that tough choice between putting it
A) in the shower/tub
B) all over the floor repeatedly
Needless to say the wonderful little cherubs whom I love so much chose B. It was only logical. Many many dollars and construction workers later I they have a new bathroom. (possible sign over the bathroom door: Abandon all hope ye who enter here and get water on the floor)
But now the little joys, just a few months after bathroom construction was finished, managed to destroy the dishwasher causing yet another floor to be ruined. (This was discovered approximately 3 hours ago)
I'm thinking about tackling this project myself although the wonderful children may be a little nervous around me holding power tools while muttering under my breath about who is responsible for this mess.
But back to my main point: water damage. Do we really need water? Weren't the good liberals telling us that we were going to run out sometime back in the 90's? (If only this had happened it could have saved me two seperate floors) I mean, if Gatorade is good enough for Payton Manning then it's good enough for me.
So please, let those faucets drip. Overwater your lawn. Leave the tap on while brushing your teeth. The good liberals insisted that we will run out of this substance that falls from the very sky. It may be too late for my floor but your floor could be next!
SIDE NOTE: to start my anti-water campaign I have worked hard tonight to replace all the water in my body with Whiskey.