Friday, November 19, 2010

It's time to go green

I've accepted that human activity is causing the catastrophic destruction of the planet and will eventually exterminate all creatures on the planet. Only we can stop it. Therefore we must give up the following if we are truly serious about saving ourselves:

No Christmas lights. We can't be allowed to decorate when it kills polar bears.

No football games. Not just the NFL either, college and high school sports must be stopped because they generate lots of traffic going to and from stadiums. (women's basketball would still be allowed because it generates no traffic)

No movies. Our entertainment isn't worth destroying the planet. I can't even allow you to bike to the theater because the carbon footprint of the construction, production and showing of films is just too large.

No TV. Every time you turn on that carbon creating screen you melt a little bit of the polar ice caps.

If you really accept global warming, like I do, you will gladly make these sacrifices in the name of the planet.

28 comments:

MAX Redline said...

Fortunately, these restrictions apply only to Americans.

Everyone else carry on....

Anonymous said...

98% of all greenhouse gases is water vapor. CO2 makes up about .1.2%. 98% of all CO2 is from natural sources; volcanoes, rotting dead plants, cow farts, breathing, etc. About 2% of the CO2 comes from man made sources. If we were to agree to all of the wild ass programs the IPCC wants we would destroy the world economy and reduce man made greenhouse gas by less then 0.1%

But all of this is for nothing. The global warming we are experiencing is a natural cycle. This is the 33rd natural global warming since the last ice age. It began about 1850 long before the first SUV. It will last a few hundred years or so and be followed by a global cooling. Global warmings are very benign to humans and as a result the human race has flourished. When the global cooling cycle begins it will be very harmful to most life ont the planet. Enjoy the mild climate while you can and don't be fooled by those who would tax and control you under the guise of controlling our weather. What they are proposing is nothing more then the high tech version of throwing a virgin into the volcano to appease the gods. Most of those who claim to believe in and support the man caused global warming theory believe they will benefit from a high tax oppressive government. They will stop at nothing and lie through their teeth to achieve that goal.

DAVE01 said...

ANON 4:11 PM
You got that right. The whole scam is to steal to steal our money. I always thought they had it wrong. Since the US uses 25% of the worlds resources and we produce 25% of the worlds goods with only 5% of the worlds population, we are the most efficient producer in the world.

The inefficient producers need to give the US billions of dollars which will drive them to be more efficient. Only an idiot would want to punish the efficient producer and reward the inefficient producer.

A fifth grade could figure that out.

FP's Favorite Anon said...

I have decided it is time to go Miglavian. The first thing I will do is get a lobotomy. The next thing I'll do is start smoking, because the evidence is not conclusive (certain industry-backed "scientists" tell me) that smoking causes cancer.

I don't know what I'll do after that, but I'm sure it won't be hard. Maybe I'll buy a gun and some ammo and spend the afternoon shooting at a gravel pit.

Bobkatt said...

FP- If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Julie said...

To 1:37, it would be rather difficult to do much of anything post-lobotomy. Perhaps if you had a basic understanding of the procedure, then you could have possibly made a funny using your causticity. Now please have a cigarette, you have heard correctly, they are linked to cancer.

Anonymous said...

FP, no need for you to get a lobotomy, after all like all progressive liberals your mind is so open your brains have fallen out.

Have a great weekend.

BTW... man caused global warming is a lie.

FP said...

1:37pm (a.k.a., "FP's Favorite Anon"),

Your accuracy is amazing.

Your flattery, even less so.

Anonymous said...

You know what? It doesn't matter who or what caused global warming. It's already happened, and it's started a chain reaction that will play out over the next century or more. Intelligent people will deal with the corresponding reality accordingly, as millions are already having to do abroad. You, being an idiot, obviously won't. Which is one of many things I couldn't give less of a shit about.

FP said...

9:01pm,

Bitterly clinging to your religion, I see.

Good luck with that.

Anonymous said...

FP, you are an idiot. How do I know this? Because you mistake my respect for science as "clinging" to a "religion." I know it is incomprehensible to those of you who don't live in the reality-based world, but there is a difference. And luck has nothing to do with it.

FP's Favorite Anon said...

FP, I'm curious, deeply curious: When Siberia's permafrost melts and a trillon tons of carbon is disgorged into the atmosphere (of Earth, where I believe you're a resident) what will you cling to?

a) Your Bible
b) Your guns
c) Your junk
d) Your inflatable Sarah Palin doll
e) Daniel Miglavs

Anonymous said...

There may someday be some "harmful" effect from this naturally occurring global warming but so far there has been none. And all of the speculation about what might happen is just speculation. Those things didn't happen during the 12th century when we were in the last global warming and it was considerably warmer then this one is. The global coolngs are the more harmful cycles.

FP said...

2:36pm,

Have you found any uses for your late-night infomercial purchases yet?

3:52pm,

What kind of carbon? Diamonds, graphite, or fullerenes?

BTW, bonus points on bringing the word disgorged into the conversation. That's a great word to describe how your posts made it onto this thread.

MAX Redline said...

respect for science

1974: Man-Made Global Cooling.

Telltale signs are everywhere —from the unexpected persistence and thickness of pack ice in the waters around Iceland to the southward migration of a warmth-loving creature like the armadillo from the Midwest.Since the 1940s the mean global temperature has dropped about 2.7° F. Although that figure is at best an estimate, it is supported by other convincing data. When Climatologist George J. Kukla of Columbia University's Lamont-Doherty Geological Observatory and his wife Helena analyzed satellite weather data for the Northern Hemisphere, they found that the area of the ice and snow cover had suddenly increased by 12% in 1971 and the increase has persisted ever since. Areas of Baffin Island in the Canadian Arctic, for example, were once totally free of any snow in summer; now they are covered year round.

Scientists have found other indications of global cooling.

Man, too, may be somewhat responsible for the cooling trend. The University of Wisconsin's Reid A. Bryson and other climatologists suggest that dust and other particles released into the atmosphere as a result of farming and fuel burning may be blocking more and more sunlight from reaching and heating the surface of the earth.


In forty years, we've gone from man-made global cooling to man-made global warming to man-made climate change.

That ain't science; it's politics.

Anonymous said...

Have you found any uses for your late-night infomercial purchases yet?

Yes, I bought an ACME
Supidity Detector, but it self-destructed from overload when I pointed it at your posts.

FP said...

...I bought an ACME
Supidity
[sic] Detector...

Way to make yourself look good, buddy. And no, I'm not talking about your typo.

Anonymous said...

FP is a clever fellow. Great with words. Skilled in the art of the insult. Contemptuous of those who disagree with him. But all that pales to his powerful aversion to actually addressing the substance of issues. At least Max has the decency to cut and paste some nonsense he found at another web site.

It's time to poop or get off the pot, FP. We know you're a witty one. But when are you actually going to say something?

DAVE01 said...

Max, it is now global climate disruption. Get with the program or off to the closest reeducation camp. They changed the name because people were laughing at the global warming because the data proved the planet is cooling off. I would almost bet it has a lot to do with the decreased sun activity.

Since Al Gore and other charlatans can't control us and make a buck off regulating the sun (don't tell Al), they will make tons of bucks off regulating CO2.

I read yesterday the carbon exchange in Chicago shut down. hahahahahah for the idiots who believed in that scam.

FP said...

6:45am,

A very wise man once said, "Do not... cast your pearls before swine."

Words to live by.

Anonymous said...

Allow me to clarify: Skilled in the art of the insult when he's not plagiarizing someone else. Oh, and haughty. You do haughty pretty well, too. It's a great act, FP, but it doesn't disguise the fact that you have nothing to say.

FP said...

Definition of plagiarize:

transitive verb
: to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one's own : use (another's production) without crediting the source

intransitive verb
: to commit literary theft : present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source


Ball's in your court. Make it count.

Anonymous said...

The ball's in my court?

Hmmm.

Wouldn't have expected a sports analogy from a guy who does haughty with a capital "H." But in any event, you're correct: I used the wrong word. Is it enough that I acknowledge that fact, or shall we arrange a waterboarding session?

Actually, I'm glad for the error, because it reminds me of another of your fine characteristics that you enjoy flouting in lieu of saying anything of genuine substance about the issue you're pretending to address: Master Linguist!

Anyway: Let's take a look at where we stand in the registry of intellectual sins thus far:

1) I used the wrong word in a sentence.

2) You don't understand the difference between science and religion.

If sports analogies are your thing, I missed a free throw. I might say that you fouled out of the game, but you were never really in it to begin with.

FP said...

You don't understand the difference between science and religion.

And yet, at the same time:

...you have nothing to say.

What else does your magic 8-ball say?

Anonymous said...

I rest my case.

FP said...

Well, then. I guess that's that. The 8-ball has spoken.

Anonymous said...

The difference being, Magic 8 balls have more to say than you do.

FP said...

You must be new to the art of resting cases. Here's a tip: Subsequently flogging dead horses is bad form.