I used to buy my plants for a high price at nurseries. That is, until I found a cheaper way, and since we all know cheaper is better no matter let me explain:
I simply go to the woods and dig up my own "undocumented plants." I have undocumented trees and shrubs that simply came to my yard for a better life. You see, the soil wasn't as fertile where they were growing so I'm actually helping them.
If I get caught in the act of helping the undocumented plants out of the woods I'll be in trouble but once they are in my yard they simply blend in with the other plants and no one cares. Think of all the money that I'm saving.
Now I know that those nativists from the nurseries have antiquated notions about "laws" and "their plants are better" but I can't see any consequences from this. Actually there were some new spots on the leaves of my current plants and I did notice a ravenous beatle I hadn't seen before but no matter, in the short term I get my plants on the cheap and screw everyone else.
For those that wonder why I wrote this parody here is the story.
29 comments:
I posted this on the Writers' Blog...
I remember the Cotton Farmers of the old south whining about losing their Immigrant(African) workers too, yet they prospered, didn’t they?
Politicians that have Legal, U.S. Citizen, Tax paying, Voters concerns at heart(only ones they are supposed to work for), and who read National Polls, will tell this “coalition” to go to Hell!
Aiding and Abetting any ILLEGAL activity is a crime, including “helping” Illegal Aliens to remain unlawfully in this Country.
FACT: Over 1.9 Million immigrants granted Citizenship or Permanent Resident status last year alone and another 33 Million given Temp Visa’s for Work, School, etc.
Farmers have plenty of, not really to us, Cheap labor.
... in the short term I get my plants on the cheap and screw everyone else.
A parody? Or the truth? If true, then what you're saying is that you steal your plants. Which would be, um, against the law. Like, illegal. But then, you knew that, right?
A parody, Mr. Miglavs? Or have you let an inconvenient truth about yourself slip into your "musings"?
Oh, wait ... I'm sorry. I forgot the last part. "Screw everyone else." I guess that would include me.
Fuck you too, Mr. Miglavs.
It is about time they stand up and support undocumented Americans.
Tricky Hicky, you remember the Cotton Farmers of the old south? WOW! Are you that old? Your ideas on immigrants surely are. Really, please spare us your fake ass concern for the "poor, exploited immigrant". You are as bad as Robin.
As an anti-immigrant best buddy of Bruce the Pedophile, the farthest thing from your mind is concern over how immigrants are treated.
As for "aiding and abetting" immigrant rights, that would be illegal for you. You should be so concerned about legality with your friends molesting children and your members beating up latinos.
Finally, in response to your "fact", is that all? I want to see it over 5 Million by the end of the year.
What is stealing plants like a sneakthief for Daniel? He is a meth dealer & gang banger so I highly doubt stealing plants ranks on a scale for him in wrong doing.
I wish Monsanto made a version of Roundup just for Illegal Aliens.
Then we could Spray them away.
Just read an interesting news article about all the towns that passed laws last year against renting or doing business with illegal immigrants. Seems many of them are repealing these laws (Pahrump NV, Riverside NJ, etc...) because their towns are now ghost towns and have suffered devastating economic downturns because of business closures. Pahrump repealed all the laws they passed last year and so did Riverside, but no one wants to come back to their towns now. File this under "be careful what you wish for."
Did I miss something? Who in OFIR beat up a latino? I did a quick search of all the local news stations as well as google and didnt find anything? Im just left to assume its fiction....
Maybe they were talking about the illustrious OFIR member Bruce the Barber, whose bail was just raised to $500,000 due to increasing charges against him.
Daniel,
I’m disgusted that you would support “undocumented plants”. They are not “undocumented” they are “illegal foliage”. You illegals no doubt create a hardship on the legal plants in your yard and your neighbors. Also, you should be concerned about the illegal foliage that rapes other plants (particularly your young plants).
Apparently, Daniel, all these Anonymouse nay-sayers ranting about your "illegal plants" do not understand what a parody is. Or maybe they are choosing to ignore that your post is nothing more than just a parody on the "undocumented immigrants".
This bunch will do and say anything that will put down those of us who want these criminals out of the country. I'm surprised that they haven't recruited Bill Clinton to spread their brand of bullshit in order to give it some sort of "credibility". But then "credibility" would give their rants some sort of dignity.
A ravenous beatle? Was it Ringo?
I always get a kick out of all those people who post on this blog who cannot come up with a viable argument so they resort to bashing the poster.
I think Daniel's analogy is a good one.
Once again like a broken record, the article in the register guard makes it sound like people in Oregon are against immigrants...
It is simply a matter of illegal versus legal.
And all you bashers out there, I wish you could give me one good reason why we should support and turn our back to our immigration policies and allow anybody into the country that wants to come here.
And then explain to me why there would not be consequences.
Scottiebill, Robin, et al...You guys just don't get it do you? We are, for the most part (I'm sure there are exceptions), against (AGAINST) illegal immigration. Just so you get it, I'll say it one more time: AGAINST ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION. We just don't agree with the meanspirited, bigoted, snotty, ethnocentric, shortsighted, made-up statistic spewing, stereotyping, bullying, egotistical, nee-neer nee-neer way OFIR has chosen to approach the problem. We find Daniel's "Tenessee Tuxedo" forays into school functions with his handy dandy camera and moronic commentary well, moronic. We find OFIR and Lars Larson offensive in the way they paint VERY BROAD strokes over the actions of a few "Hispanics" to portray all "Hispanics." Its not about border security or rule of law (most of us break at least one law per day if we admit it. Think about it next time you're behind the wheel and don't come to a full stop or turn into the wrong lane, or don't claim every freakin cent of income on your tax return), it's about brown people and their accents, their music, their tiendas and their fiestas. It's about your kid having to sit next to a Mexican kid, it's about the Mexican family that moved into your nice, white subdivision. It's about the freakin' Spanish language. That's why we're here, that's why we give Danielito a hard time. And that's why we won't stop.
Robin: Do you accept Mexican people or do you always feel sort of .... uncomfortable? Does your sphincter get all puckery when you hear the Spanish language being spoken? Does it bug you when a car drives by playing Mexican music? Do you know the status of every brown person you encounter? If you knew they were born here or are here legally or are now American citizens would you suddenly feel just great about being surrounded by brown people? To people like you, we will always be "illegal until proven innocent." We will NEVER be equal to you as long as our skin is brown and our accent legible. You know it, I know it and every one else with even a shred of honesty knows it. Every last illegal could disappear tomorrow and your world won't change much Robin. You will still be surrounded by brown people. You will still hear Spanish being spoken, there will still be tiendas with homemade signs, and there will still be Mexican music coming from your parks. There are 45 million Hispanics who are American citizens who are having babies at twice the rate of anglo Americans. This country will NEVER be the same again. That's what pisses you guys off. Deal.
Thank you for your response...
no, it does not bother me to have people next to me speaking Spanish or any other language for that matter... nor does it bother me about their celebrations or their religions.
And I don't care what the color of somebody's skin is or if somebody is Hispanic, Japanese, Taiwanese, etc.
in fact, my skin is reddish if you must know... and that is because of my Cherokee heritage.
The immigration issue has nothing to do with race... it has to do with the legality of being in the country. Period!
It does frustrate me the abuse that my friends who are here legally in this country have to put up with because of the large numbers of illegals. Is that really fair to them? No!
For example, I recently had a friend of mine who came crying to me at LCC after she was walking across the cafeteria and couldn't take being glared at anymore and the comments that she overheard about her simply because she's Latino.
Again, these attitudes are directly related to peoples frustration over the LARGE number of illegal aliens that have entered into this country, and the changes that directly affect them.
Example... companies that are forcing their employees to learn Spanish versus any other language in order to keep or obtain employment.
This is the United States... where the primary language is English like it or not.
It is also not like Mexico or other Spanish speaking countries have a lot of tourists that come here on a regular basis in order to offer them Spanish as a courtesy.
The ONLY reason why Hispanics get brought up so much, is because of the LARGE number of Hispanics that cross our borders illegally is larger than from any other country.
So I ask the question again... why should we have to change our language and our ways in order to accommodate people who are not even supposed to be here in the first place? And don't give me the racist BS as an answer.
We are a country of laws... if the laws do not work, we can change them. If we do not have laws, then we have chaos.
We have an immigration system in place to regulate the inflow of people into the United States.
If we are not going to enforce our immigration system... then why have it?
For that matter... why have a lock on the front door of your house?
I'm getting down off my soapbox now, however, I hope that we can continue a rational discussion regarding the issue without bashing individuals to try and make a point.
I thought a couple of months ago you told us you were black.
Oh...and who said you have to "change your language?" That's ludicrous as we are all still trilling along in English. Have you changed "your ways?" I haven't. Is someone pressuring you to "change your ways?" Hogwash.
Companies "force" employees to learn new skills all the time. I remember in the 80s I had to learn how to operate a computer and damn fast too, if I wanted to keep my job.
Speaking a second language is a skill just as operating a computer is a skill. Nobody is "forcing" anyone to do anything. If someone needs to learn a new skill to keep their job and they don't want to, they are free to find another job.
Under a free market system, corporations decide what is in their best interest (within the law) and implement strategies to meet those interests. As an employee, you either align yourself with those interests or get out of the way. This is nothing new. If you're not okay with that, then you should think about getting a union job.
My friend works for a pharmaceutical company. She had an opportunity to work in Taiwan if she learned the language. She learned the language. Now she makes 6 figures. No one "FORCED" her, but she certainly made the right decision, don't you think.
That is the free market and capitalism doing what it is supposed to do. The person with the most skills gets (and keeps) the job. It's always been that way, and it always will be that way (unless the collective
"you" changes your mind about unions, at which point you would be a bona fide hypocrite).
Everyone thought it was a great idea when we began requiring teachers to continually upgrade their educations if they wanted to keep teaching. Oh yeah...make those teachers keep their skills top notch. Teachers have to keep earning credits and keep taking university classes if they want to advance in pay level. We don't even require our doctors and lawyers to do that. But teachers have to. Why not you? What makes you special that your employer should not be allowed to expect you to keep improving and adding to your skills?
I find it amusing how conservatives worship capitalism, the free market, and employers rights trumping the rights of employees -- that is until it affects them! LMAO.
I remember hearing about plenty of people who lost their jobs because they refused to learn their jobs with a computer, especially the middle aged workers. I worked for a real estate company at the time and one gal just plain refused to learn how to do her job using an automated system. She didn't last long. I damn near lost my job too because I couldn't figure out DOS.
Robin,
Really, your racism is showing through again. As a Black American, which you claimed to be last month, it is clear that you don't like "hispanics", "mexicans", "latinos", "brown people", "illegals" or what ever choice words you wish to use to implecate those from south of the U.S. Border. Again, I mention, some of the most outspoken bigots against latinos are blacks. Don't know why, but there is probably information on that. Just review some of those idiot sellout phony civilrights activists that have joined up with the Minuteklan down in California and elsewhere.
The fact that you raise the issue of their culture and language, even when you don't know their citizenship status, shows that you don't like these people coming in here with pinatas and spanish and other things representative of their heritage. I know many latinos that are citizens but speak spanish and celebrate their culture. I am glad they do. it does not offend me. People like you homogenized fools don't like that. Well too bad. This is nation of immigrants and it always will be. Immigrants have built this country and continue to do so. You loved those hispanic laborers when they were moving our economy along. Now that your Republicans have trashed this economy, you want them gone. Too bad. They are here, will continue to be here, and continue to come here long after you.
My story, I come from Japanese decent and speak with others in Japanese and celebrate my culture. I am an American. I contribute alot to this country. If you don't like that, then renounce your citizenship and get out. This country is a melting pot. unfortunately it is people like you that spoil that pot.
“Japanese decent” ???
So, you come from “polite” ancestors? I’m glad to here that you’re not a descendent of those “discourteous” Japanese.
LOL Robin! Are you going to be Chinese next month? Sucks when you get busted eh? You did comment not too long ago on this blog about how you couldn't possibly be a racist since you were black. Oh, I bet someone "forced" you to lie, right?
Anon3:03--Are you "glad to here" being present to here or, are you just here?
LOL Anon 303! Not a good idea to smuggly proofread other's posts unless your posts are perfect too! LMAO!
I wish you guys would show me where you're referencing that I said something about unions and of being black.
I've never said that I am black and I have never spoken against unions.
anon 3:05 do you have a link to that comment?
It will take some time, but Im sure we will find the post where you told us you were black Robin. We'll let you know. As far as you making a statement re: unions, I don't think any of us said that on this thread.
"Collective you" is the term they used, Robin. I think that means generally speaking, most people who belong to "your side of the aisle," so to speak Robin, are rabidly anti-union. They weren't refering to you PERSONALLY with regards to unions.
Robin -- an apologist for racists who treat your hispanic friend so badly that she is in tears? Wow. It's not their fault they glare at her and treat her rudely? It's not their fault because "they're frustrated?" Robin: It's NEVER okay to be a bigot and treat someone the way they treated your friend. Yet instead of putting the blame squarely where it belongs -- on the bigots -- you blame the illegal aliens for making the bigots "feel frustrated?"
With friends like you, who needs enemas.
Maliengus is right Robin. Some friend you are. Instead of blaming the bigots who treat her badly, you blame Hispanic illegal immigrants (a racial group of which she herself belongs) and tell her it's the illegal aliens fault? Wow. I bet that made her feel WAY better! Some friend you are.
It isn't the illegal's fault that bigots are bigots, it's the bigots fault and they alone are responsible for their bigotry and deplorable behavior! You excuse their cruelty and disrespectful treatment of your girlfriend because of their "frustration?"
Way to stand up for your friend, lol.
Robin, there's NEVER an excuse for bigotry or treating another human being badly. You seem to think there is. REGARDLESS of a HUMAN BEING's legal status, we are all children of God and deserve to be treated as such. Please keep that in mind as you interact with ALL people. including those who may or may not be here legally. I hope your girlfriend rethinks her
"friendship" with you.
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