Monday, July 31, 2006

Dear Mohammed

From the desk of Abu Mohammed Saud
RE: Continuing Jihad

My fellow Jihadists, praise Allah. All over the world you see our work. Deaths in America, Israel, Australia, India, Britain and many many more. Praise Allah for our good work.

Unfortunately brothers I have some discouraging news and our jihad may be at an end. It seems that the ultimate power will be used against us and the time for our surrender is here.

Yes, that ultimate power: a strongly worded UN resolution.

I know my brothers, none of us thought that it would come to these extremes. (Note that the resolution will be strongly worded to show their seriousness)

Now I understand that some of you may want to continue jihad against the infidels but I must advise against that my brothers. Our continuing aggression will most certainly bring the wrath of a follow up resolution only this time it will have unspecified consequences!

Even Allah himself trembles at the thought. All the roadside bombs in the world will not prevent this resolution from passing and then where we will be?

Yes my brothers, it is time to come out from the Hospitals and schools, step out from behind the women and children and give up our arms. I know that when you woke up this morning your only thoughts were of murdering the infidels, that you were willing to give your children to the cause or even die yourself but now we must take a different path. (Perhaps we could form a book club...)

Praise Allah to the hard liners who continue the jihad but I fear that you only invite a UN resolution that will demand action at a much later date and this time it will include possible specific sanctions!!!! (NOTE: While they say "possible" we can't take the chance that they won't follow through)

So I for one have killed my last infidel. We have been beaten. While we may have been able to resist action we certainly can't stand up against a prolonged campaign of tough talk and possible threats.

Hanging up my suicide vest,
Abu Mohammed Saud

p.s. I was thinking Anne of Green Gables for our first book club meeting. I will bring the salad.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, UN resolutions are best when wrapped around 500 pound bombs.

But then, toilet tissue works as well and are of equal value.

Daniel said...

You act like despotic countries routinely ignore these resolutions. That's absurd, I mean, remember when... ok but what about... well then there was the one resolution that...

Hmmmm.

Anonymous said...

A UN resolution, that'll give the terrorists the scolding that the they need to stop killing. As we recall UN resolutions put the fear of Allah in Saddam...Oh that's right Saddam ignored 18 UN resolutions, until we bombed him into hiding in a rat hole, like the coward he is.

Daniel said...

Oh come on, just one more resolution and I'm sure that he would have complied...

Scottiebill said...

UN resolutions are about as effective as New Years resolutions - they are good for a couple of hours, then everything is back to the status quo.

Anonymous said...

Actually, the status quo is now American adventures in the Middle East, ensuring that each new generation of terrorists is more barbaric and filled with hatred of the West than the previous one. Terrorists need no more propaganda than tens of thousands of civilian casualties. This is not rocket science.

What the hell are we doing over there? Jihad is being waged against the U.S. because the Middle East is littered with American military bases including those on or near lands sacred to Islam. Again, what has our presence in the region over the past quarter of a century acheived. I'm for getting the hell out. They can have their sand and blistering hot temperatures for all I care. Let Isreal fight their own damn war. With each new conflict in the region, it becomes increasingly clear that we are playing right into the terrorists plan for a war of all-against-all. No one wins such a war. You can never kill all terrorists.

Funny how things change. Conservatives have gone from being rigid isolationists to promoting involvement in the affairs of every nation in every corner of the world.

Mike Terrill said...

Apparently, anonymous 10:32 has forgotten about 9-11.

Anonymous said...

Uh, no I haven't. In fact, I just returned from NYC last week. Visited ground zero and it gave me the fucking chills. Part of the reason those crazy bastards attacked us is because of our air bases near Mecca in Saudi Arabia, and numerous other military installations in the territory. I can't say that I would enjoy having some other country's military parked in my back yard. So it's worth asking, why are we there? Let me guess...to bring them democracy! Give me a break. 500 lb bombs do not change hearts and minds. Only pussies back down when threatened with force.

From Mike's profile:

"Mike is just a young, single guy with lots of random thoughts in his head."

No Shit!

Daniel said...

Anon, so us having our air bases in another country, with that countires permission, justifies the murder of 3000 civilians? Not following your logic...

Anonymous said...

Sure, Daniel: "permission". Just like we have "permission" to be in and around Pakistan because we prop up a very unpopular military dictator. Never mind what Pakistani citizens want...if that's permission, it's a pretty warped and undemocratic notion of it. My point is that we should get our nose out of every country's political affairs.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of disgusting use of children as human shields, look at this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3650791.stm

Scottiebill said...

Anon 1:35pm-- Apparently backing down is what you would have the US do after 9-11 and have Israel do a couple of weeks ago after Hezbollah launched missles into Israel after they went after their kidnapped soldiers. I really do not think that Israel could be considered to be "Pussies", nor can the US be considered "pussies" as well. It seems to me that your rhetoric shows you up to be pro-Hezbolla, pro-Hamas, and anti-American and anti-Israel.

The AmINOCLUand the NY Times would love you.

Anonymous said...

Here come the "anti-american" digs again.

Wars are the result of a long history of short memories. Our military bases were installed in Saudi Arabia prior to the 9-11 attacks. Of course, these bases were installed AFTER Saddam invaded Kuwait. But this invasion took place AFTER we helped Saddam come to power and beefed up his military power in support of Iraq in the Iran-Iraq war. And on it goes.

Of course, the middle east conflict is no easy matter either. It's not as black-and-white as "Isreal has the right to defend itself". The UN gave Isreal that right when it created the nation after WWII. Arabs view the creation of the state of Isreal in 1948 as an act of Western imperial aggression since it was done solely by UN mandate. Maybe Isreal does have the right to defend itself. I don't see why it has to be done with the support of my tax dollars.

Asking whether our country should continue to meddle in mid-east affairs, and thus, prolong an already long history of conflict into an unknown future, or simply pull out of the region is a legitmate question. Asking it does not render one unamerican or a supporter of terrorism.

Pulling out of the region would not be pussying out. It would simply be getting out of a region in which we don't belong. If we remove the American presence in the middle east, the motivating symbol for terrorist scorn would no longer be there.

Anonymous said...

I think the Arab's point regarding Israel is that it is unjust to give away 1 million people's (Palestinians in 1948) homes/towns/properties/livlihood to assage the guilt of Europe regarding the Holocaust.

Also remember that the ethinic cleansing of the Palestinians was done by Israeli terrorism - eg Menachim Begin's Stern Gang, whom the Israeli government awards medals in commemoration of. 500 arab villages/towns - both Muslem and Christian - have disappeared through these methods.

There are Israeli-jewish political formations who have advocated the eratication of any Palistinian Muslem and Christian population since /before/ Israel was created. Somehow they are legitimate in the US's eyes - they have held portfolios in the Israeli government, yet Hamas is not?

It is the simple hypocracy of this that Israeli terrorism, injustice and hatred are OK is what fuels the very dangerous radical Islamic terrorist movement.

We are on the wrong side and it is undermining the world order.

Scottiebill said...

Anon 9:52--We are on the wrong side in the Hezbollah-Israeli conflict? Therefore, by your way of thinking, we should be supporting the terrorists, read Hezbollah and Hamas, should we not? What kind of stupid logic is that? Maybe you have missed your calling and have become a reporter for the NY Times or CNN, instead of whatever you are doing now. Or maybe you should have gone to law school and become a AmINOCLU lawyer. They would welcome you with open arms.

Anonymous said...

scottiebill -- way to not address one single substantive point. Nice contribution!

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